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TOPIC: Hee-Hee Lighten Up Guys
Kittys Mom
~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!
Status: Offline
Posts: 3484
Date:
1:27 PM, 04/01/05
Hee-Hee Lighten Up Guys
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Elderly Ladies In Church
Two little old ladies were attending a rather long service at their
church.
One leaned over and whispered, "My butt is going to sleep."
Her friend leaned over and said, "I know. I heard it snore three times."
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It. !
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..
11. What Do You Get &! gt;From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twi! tches?
A Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile
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KatzPomDogz
You have been awarded the Posting Star of Honor!
Status: Offline
Posts: 1007
Date:
1:57 PM, 04/01/05
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Very funny jokes, I am having not the greatest day and they did make me smile! Thanks!
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Kittys Mom
~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!
Status: Offline
Posts: 3484
Date:
2:05 PM, 04/01/05
Permalink
Hard for me to find a clean one. I can pm you some real funny ones.
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Kittys Mom
~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!
Status: Offline
Posts: 3484
Date:
2:07 PM, 04/01/05
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This one's ok, I guess.
Marsha decided that the only way to pull off a
Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old son
in the apartment was to send him out on the
balcony with a popsicle and tell him to report on
all the neighborhood activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their
plan into operation:
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot"
he shouted.
A few moments passed. "An ambulance just drove by"
A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson's
have company" he called out.
"Matt's riding a new bike....."
"The Coopers are having sex!!"
Startled, Mother and Dad shot up in bed!!! Dad
cautiously asked "How do you know they are having sex??"
"Jimmy Cooper is standing out on his balcony with
a popsicle too."
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ZoeandTucker
Post-a-Holic - Give this person a rabies shot!
Status: Offline
Posts: 962
Date:
3:35 PM, 04/01/05
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I have been laughing so hard at these jokes. My kids and dogs think I'm insane.
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Saving just one dog won't save the world, but it surely will change the world for that one dog. -Richard C. Call
GoddessIsis
Officially Housebroken! (But don't make me mad...I know which floors you wax)
Status: Offline
Posts: 181
Date:
3:44 PM, 04/01/05
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lol kitty those a great!
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ltlgto
Officially Housebroken! (But don't make me mad...I know which floors you wax)
Status: Offline
Posts: 125
Date:
3:47 PM, 04/01/05
Permalink
Those were great Kittys Mom. I love jokes, but couldn't remember one to save my life.
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"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein
Paige
~Grand Champion~ Gold Medal Poster!
Status: Offline
Posts: 2395
Date:
6:56 PM, 04/01/05
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Those were funny. Thanks for making me laugh on a crappy day.
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huronbreeze
MAD DOG!
Status: Offline
Posts: 434
Date:
8:53 PM, 04/01/05
Permalink
Great jokes...Keep them coming...
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Huron Breeze
Julie
Officially Housebroken! (But don't make me mad...I know which floors you wax)
Status: Offline
Posts: 228
Date:
10:47 PM, 04/01/05
Permalink
Thank you!!! We could use a few more of these.
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Chloe
http://www.dogster.com/?34874
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Those were great Kittys Mom. I love jokes, but couldn't remember one to save my life.
