Just a Weeeee bit

"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond comparison.

With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman.

Shortly thereafter he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters who positively took his breath away.
So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one
of them.

The farmer simply replied,
"They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place.
Look 'em over and pick the one you want"

The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the
man's opinion.

"Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice......pigeon-toed."

The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls;
so the man went out with the second daughter.

The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.

"Well," the man replied, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell.....
cross-eyed."

The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might
be better. So he did.

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming,
"She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry."

So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born.

When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest,
most pathetic human you can imagine.

He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

"Well," explained the farmer, "She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could
hardly tell......pregnant when you met her."


With all the new technology regarding fertility, a 65-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby recently. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, the relatives came to visit.

"May we see the new baby?" one asked .

"Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for awhile first."

Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now"?

"No, not yet," said the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, "May we see the baby now?

"Not yet," replied the mother.

Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when CAN we see the baby?"

"WHEN HE CRIES!" she told them.

"WHEN HE CRIES??" they demanded. "Why do we have to wait until he CRIES??"

"BECAUSE, I forgot where I put him..."