A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! What are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend."
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint.
After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in.
A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?!"
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out.
He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint.
He looks up and says "Hey, MONKEY!"
The Monkey looks down and says "DUDE....... how much water did you drink?"
That was fantastic. You are truly a scholar! Here is one from me.
The Never-Ending Joint
There was this pot-head walking down a road when a genie appeared in front of him and said, "I'll grant you two wishes. What is your first wish?" asked the genie. The pot-head replied, "I want a never ending joint. The genie goes, "As you wish," and gave him the joint. The pot-head took a long drag and said, "Cool. I want another one!"
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Everyone knows that the double edged sword is always the weapon of choice for slaying dragons.
Ok. I did click on here not knowing what was going to be on here. You made your point...a kid could have clicked on here, so I do think you went over the line. Why don't you just try and keep it clean. Is that so hard?
If you are going to edit my post, can you just delete my entire post instead. By you taking out the punch line, or rewording a post of mine, you make my post sound lame and not complete. Also, when you reword my posts, I feel you are putting words in my mouth that I didnt say. Thanks so much.
The Watcher
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Everyone knows that the double edged sword is always the weapon of choice for slaying dragons.
quote: Originally posted by: thewatcher "it got completely deleted, thats why you dont see it. It was an awesome joke though!"
I don't see that anyone has deleted anything. If a post is edited, it automatically noted by the system and neither of your posts show as being edited. Therefore, I'm not sure I understand your comment.
Although these jokes are funny to the majority of us, lets keep the jokes as family friendly as possible. I'm letting these slide for the simple reason that I want them to serve a point.......point being that these can cross the line for some and it's not the kind of material we want posted on the board. Jokes like this are fine in chat, as long as no kids are present.
I am working on opening the forum on the TC Chat page for adult humor and a moderators only area. Once these areas are opened, only approved members will be able to view them. I will approve anyone who wants access to the adult folder as long as you are 17 or older. I will post more about this later, but the folder will NOT be X Rated (i.e. there will be NO nude pics posted). It will be adult oriented.....a place for jokes such as these which really don't have a place here.
Just try and hang on to your adult jokes/posts until I get that forum up and running. Should be going within a few days.
Just to clear things up--yes, a post was deleted. Watcher told a joke after TNT did, and I edited the joke. Watcher's joke is the one jawlaw is talking about. Watcher then asked me to delete his post entirely, so I did. However, my computer wouldn't let me post on this thread afterwards, so I wasn't able to explain until now that a post was deleted. Normally, I only edit posts rather than delete them because deletions tend to cause confusion.
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"Thought is an invisible and subtle power that mocks all the efforts of tyranny." Alexis de Tocqueville
If there is nothing to post about a pet then do you want me to make something up? I take it when you asked:
"Have either of you posted about pets lately?"
that you were referring to Watcher and myself???? We are two different people who live in different parts of the country and have different pets. There are days that go by that I don't even see my pets (sorry but true).
Ok but it isn't pretty, Virgil got into a tussle with a big rattler the other day out behind the barn (they are coming out now that the days are heating up and the rocks are warm), he got bit on the nose. Doc took care of him though and he will be fine, he was pretty sick for a couple of days. Wyatt got into a skunks business last night, and after getting sprayed in the face he bit the head off of it and brought it home to Sally, he was as proud as could be.
I havn't seen any rattlers in my yard yet but they will I saw a show once that was teaching dogs to stay away from snakes. Think i need to teach mine....lol
My mom's a groomer and when she has someone come in with a dog that has been sprayed by a skunk, it stinks up the whole place! She found some good stuff to use though.
Ive posted many pictures of my pets and have discussed dogs quite a bit with Kittys Mom about dogs via PM and others via PM. It seems this forum does not talk a majority about pets, more posts are about other topics. Actually, the largest and most viewed, and most replies are on either Tnt or The Watchers posts. I would say that both of us do bring your hits up on this forum. If you or other members have any pet questions, fire away. TnT and I are ready to discuss whatever.
HAVE A NICE DAY!
The Watcher
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Everyone knows that the double edged sword is always the weapon of choice for slaying dragons.
> > >Subject: Adult Psychology >An elderly man in Phoenix called his son in New York and said, "I hate >to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are >getting a divorce. Forty-five years of misery is enough." >"Dad, what are you talking about?!" the son screamed. >"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man said. >"We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this. >So, you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." Then the father >hung up. >Frantic, the son called his sister, who exploded on the phone. "Like >heck they're getting a divorce!" she shouted.& nbsp; "I'll take care of >this." >She called Phoenix immediately and screamed at her Dad, "You and >Mom are NOT getting a divorce! Don't do a single thing until I get >there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there >tomorrow. Until then, DON'T DO A >THING! DO YOU HEAR >ME?" And she slammed down the receiver. >The old man hung up the phone, turned to his wife, smiled, and said, >"They're both coming for Easter and they are paying their own way."
"Thought is an invisible and subtle power that mocks all the efforts of tyranny." Alexis de Tocqueville
I saw a show once that was teaching dogs to stay away from snakes. Think i need to teach mine....lol 
