In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Darn, and that's the
only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that
would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's
"just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside
down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but
wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to
reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those
5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking
this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."(as
opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now,
somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news
flash)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the
parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals." (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening
somewhere?)