She is beautiful, Pits! You are so unselfish about this whole situation. You are an inspiration. We have missed you around here, but are so happy that you are getting to spend time with family!

 

She's a very beautiful girl. The two of you are carbon copies of one another. What a resemblance!!!

she will be 13 in October. and my oldest is 16! I know I had not seen her for nearly 4 years and WAM! There she was and it was like looking in the mirror. Our bond has not so much as been smudged. I used to sing her "you are my sunshine" all the time and at the end where it says "please don't take my sunshine away" she would always pipe up and say "from me!" Well she was having a hard time sleeping when I was there so i sang to her that song and she said it again! I could not believe she remembered. She was a real joy to be around. I am so proud of her she amazes me. She called me mama which she really surprised me with because I thought she had forgotten that and she said "I may have a 2nd mom but you'll always be my only mama. She just warms my heart i tell you. She wants to live with me and honestly she has a better chance in life where she is now she is safe from my ex and her parents are well off and have a beautiful home!  Her parents are great too they call her our daughter not theirs and they introduce me to people as her mom not her birth mom. If I gave her nothing else besides life at least I gave her a good life. She is so important to me and I want her to have the best.

 I told her that we have many journeys to take in life before our time here is over and that she was destined for great things. I went on to tell her that her path was chosen before she was born and her time with me as a baby may have been shorter then we would like but change is a necessary part of all our lives. I don't dwell anymore on the fact she is gone because she is never really gone I simply am greatful for having been blessed with the privilage of being able to say she is my daughter and for the time we did have together. I have also decided that by next year I will be moving back to Illinois to be closer to her and see her more often. How do you make a 12 year old child understand that sometimes we must sacrifice what we really want in order to make those we love safe and happy? I would love nothing more then for her to live with me and I could make it happen but I truly believe she is better off where she is.

So often we are faced with decisions regarding our kids. Some are real doosies and most are not easy at all. I know if I made a decision based on what I would like it would be selfish and I would not be putting her first. I am trying to make her see that my decision was based on her and what was best for her and her future. I sacrificed my whole heart when I let her go but I did it out of pure love for her. And it took all the strength I could muster up from deep inside. I struggled with this for years and years. Was I wrong? This is really hard for me so I could use some input.

JAWLAW, Thanks for the vote of confidence this has not been easy at all. That little girl is my whole life. (as are my boys) I would give my very last breath to see her have a good life. choaking back the tears even the tears of joy in front of her is so hard. and I cried the whole flight home. I hope my son knows why I did what I did for him as well.

-- Edited by Pitsanddobes at 00:12, 2005-06-02

She thinks I am pretty lol and I guess I am flattered but I think she is far more beautiful then I am or ever was in my youth. Thank you all for the wonderful compliments about my princess. lol not only does she look like me but she is just like me. She bites down on something and refuses to budge and has an independant streak a mile wide. Oh btw she has very bright red hair she says is orange lol so she colors it I guess she needs something to make her feel in control in some way over her life huh?

Pits, I can tell you from my experience of raising a daughter through the most trying of times, that raising the "girl" through the formative years is a good thing, but the bond you have with the "woman" after she is grown is like cement.

When your daughter becomes that woman, the two of you will no doubt form the best and most solid of relationship. It's the same with my Mom and myself and my daughter and myself.