This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe.
You know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen.
At this stage you are always RIGHT.
And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG.
This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realise that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you.
You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you.
Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world.
You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar.
You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you will win all your bets.
It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH.
You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.
Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF
You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing.
This is because nothing can hurt you.
At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money.
You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!
Stage 5 - INVISIBLE
This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness.
At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you.
You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you.
You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words.
That is so awesome. I have heard parts of it, throughout the years. I had, till I came home from work[from the bar] to find it, and respond to it. I will send it to my bar tender, and copy it for my patrons. Two drinks makes you illegal to drive in California, I think it is good to drink at home. Thanks for posting it.
i dont drink any type of alcohol. i do like to go karaokeing. so occasionally i do go to bars to sing. i am always the driver. i wont ride with anyone thats been drinking. some of the most entertaining things is to be sober in a bar full of drunks and watch how they change after they get a few drinks in them. i wonder if they were able to see themselves drunk if they would still be willing to do it all over again. but its usually the same ones in the same bars doing it over and over again night after night. the ones that are "bulletproof" are the ones that wake up black eyed and bruised and dont have a clue as to how they got that way.
i dont drink any type of alcohol. i do like to go karaokeing. so occasionally i do go ...... some of the most entertaining things is to be sober in a bar full of drunks and watch how they change after they get a few drinks in them. i wonder if they were able to see themselves drunk if they would still be willing to do it all over again. but its usually the same ones in the same bars doing it over and over again night after night. the ones that are "bulletproof" are the ones that wake up black eyed and bruised and dont have a clue as to how they got that way.
lol ive been there before ..i dont drink alchohol either...i used to be abit of a party animal when i was younger around 18/19 but i got to the stage where i did take a hard look at myself and thought this aint for me. At 23 I have the odd 1 vodka,lime and lemonade about 5 times a year but i really dont like the taste. My friends are the ones that drive me crazy.I get so mad at them because they look at me like im some kind of freak when i dont want to drink on a night out. They seem to think being drunk gives them a better night, but whats a good night out worth when you cant remeber it in the morning. I still go on the karaoke and have a great time i just dont need to be stinking drunk to get up there and 'sing'.
Sometimes i feel like im a million miles away from my friends but i have always been more 'mature' beyond my years. I was brought up in the countryside with gardeneing, farm animals, peace and quiet and looking after myself in many, many ways. These are the things i enjoy ~ im a bit of a homebody and enjoy sitting in the garden or doing renovation on furniture and nuturing my garden. Many 23 year olds are out in the town every night drinking like a mad man and clubbing every night but thats just not the life for me
i have seen what alcohol does to people. i have seen people that can barely walk, get in their vehicles and drive away. my cousin lost his only daughter and three year old granddaughter to a drunk driver. i dont down anyone for drinking, responsibly. but the same ones that drink themselves stupid, pick fights with anyone and everyone and then get in their cars and drive home night after night i definately dont look UP to.
..so not ot be taken the wrong way i should have added in my post that it doesn't bother me people who drink thats up to them and i dont think any less of my friends or anyone else for being drinkers. Its the ones that get out of control and ruin someones night out by fighting etc that sucks. Someone tried to pick a fight on michael because he glanced at them when he was passing them in the bar. If it was any other day they wouldnt think anything of it. but because they had been drinking they thought that anyone that even glanced in their direction should get a punch in the mouth .. ridiculous
Both of you, I agee. I never drink with company, or socially drink. I only drink to catch a buzz before I eat my dinner, at night, alone. Dad says it makes me a closet drunk... Whatever. I harm no one[unless you think I would be better company sober], and compensate in my diet, for the damage. When I lose interest in the effect, it will leave my life. I go with it, calling it the "carrot before the donkey[me]"... For several years, drinking was a part of my social life. I set down rules for myself. My friends just love that I am the driver they can trust. I try to be responsible when people are drinking at the bar. EAT, don't be drunk, is my push. Pleasure is great, when it is safe. Safe is when you are at home, and, in reasonable control of yourself....
thats great paige thanks for sharing..ive got a few people who defianatly need to read that 
