my 21 year old son is an alcoholic. which involved him in being jumped and beaten yesterday and my 18 month old grandson being in the middle and ending up in the hospital having to have a catscan. my son and his girlfriend(who now lives in california) are both alchoholics .child protective service came to my home today and thinks me and quinn should apply for custody of the two kids. so he is now in jail, probably for quite awile, for a domestic violence charge he got when they were together and she is in california, with no place of her own and no job.and calls here half crocked to check on the kids. and i will be the meany now because i am taking custody of the kids, with cps backing us up, and give them a stable home life.i raised six kids and i am scared about doing it again, but also worried about the safety of my grandkids. i just dont know if i am doing the right thing.its like starting over. kimani is 7 years and jaymes is 18 months. i am almost fifty and quinn is 45. are we too old? i love them and cant bear them being put in foster care. any suggestions would we should do ? i am so confused and lost.
Safty of the kids should come first. There are couples now a days haveing children at 50. I so go for it. You son might hate you now but once he is sober enough he will thank you. You never know what will happen to children once they are placed in foster care. I know here in the state of Florida there are always horror stories about foster care children missing. There has been a lil girl missing for almost 3 years now, the social worker was makeing up documents saying she was visiting the house when she really wasn't. If I was your son I would much rather have my children with someone I know and love then some total stranger.
I have a really good friend that went through something very similar, only she was the aunt of the kids in question. The children were her husband's sister's kids. It was quite an ordeal for them. For one, they were in constant battle with other family members about where the children should live. Because they got custody of the children, but had not adopted them, they had to consult social services about everything from what school they went to, to who would be allowed to babysit them when they went out. They had to go to every single court hearing whenever the judge would re-evaluate the parents to see if they were competent to get the children back. Because of all the emotional stuff the kids had gone through, they were in therapy and had many emotional issues. With all that being said, I absolutely think that, despite all that, you should try to gain custody of the child so that he is kept with the family and not put into foster care. But I would take advantage of any kind of help that social services can provide, and ask TONS of questions. Anything you have concerns about, be sure to ask so that you are not blindsided. Maybe even talk to a lawyer so that you understand all your rights while the child is under your guardianship.
I'm sorry about all the stuff going on. I hope everything is able to be worked out, and I know I don't know you personally, but I bet that baby would be really lucky to get to live with you if that is the case
-- Edited by HunterNellasmom at 16:21, 2005-07-27
__________________
-The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all
