I love my boyfriend but im getting frustrated, and snappy and im feeling bad so i got to do or say something soon. When he moved in, he brought his cats with him, but ever since he moved in, he has never bought cat food, leaving it up to me. I wouldnt mind normally but I buy everything, Im getting HIS cat spayed and paying for it, b/c its either me pay for it or she wont get fixed and then she would have started spraying.
Its all these little things that bug me, like before i go to bed I made a ritual of walking around the house locking all the doors and turning off the lights, then i wake up in the morning and he has left the light s on, or didnt lock the doors. Its frustrating cause I feel im taking care of 8 animals, 2 of which are his, and im taking care of him, and im starting to feel like his mom, picking up after him, etc...
Also we got Hyde together, before we got him I told Jason I need help with a puppy if we get one. He said he would help, but he only helps out on tues, thurs when i work, and when he is watching Hyde on those two days, Hyde always has accidnets cause Jason doesnt watch him well enough. And the rest of the 5 days out of the week,im the only one running after him, taking him out, trianing him. Im so tired of this and having to clean up after my boyfriend, he doesnt do dishes or laundry. I told him I'd do these things if he delt with trash and the litterbox, but he hardly even does that!
I want to say something but i think he might get defensive, but im afraid if my boyfriend doesnt start taking on more responibilites then I might end up being so frustrated all the time, i'll break up with him.
I just dont think its fair for me to pay for 98% of everything, take care of 8 animals,feed them, take them out, clean up after Jason, put Jasons stuff away, and also be responsable for household cleaning, and making sure there is food in the house. We have only been together 5 months, i feel like im married and im NOT so i dont want to feel that way...lol.
Uh, oh. Warning signs. If he doesn't help now, it will probably be horrible once you are married. It is not fair if you both work and only one is doing all the work.
Believe me, if he is like this now and doesn't change for you, he will never change.
If you are planning to marry this guy, you need to take a long, hard look and think about this before you do it.
If this is not the one that you will marry, why are you wasting your time? :)
I hope that doesn't sound too harsh, but you know I am old enough to be your mom, so I had to say it. lol
~doesnt sound great~ive had those feelings before with an ex~ no relationships a breeze and me and michael have our fair share of tough moments lol .. I get fed up with MIchael who does similar things to your boyf.. im not working at the moment and he is providing for me and i totally am thankfull for that and try my best to keep things neat and tidy so im not sitting on my a$$ all day whilst hes out earning the £. But when he somes home and within 5 minutes the house is a wreck after all my carefull tidying (im abit houseproud) i swear i could kick his backside into next week. Michaels my life and soul but most (i want to say all) men will take the piss if you let them..give them an inch an they take a yard
The longer you leave it without saying anything the worse it will get and you may just explode in a fit if rage lol so for your health let it all out
I'd say it is definitely time for a deep discussion between you & Jason. There has to be some guidelines set up pertaining to finances as well as sharing other responsibilities around the house. Just out of curiousity - is this his first time living away from his parents? If so he is probably used to his parents doing most everything around the house & supplying everything that is needed. Unless you talk to him about it I don't think he'll realize why you are unhappy.
What you are presently feeling is what I experienced with my 1st husband. I can tell you your feelings of frustration will definitely sour the relationship. If Jason is unable or unwilling to become more of a partner than a hotel guest I would seriously think about whether or not this is how you want to live the next few decades. My 2nd husband was completely different - he more than held up his end of the household responsibilities as he always said it was our home, our pets, etc. You said, "i feel like im married and im NOT so i dont want to feel that way" - a marriage shouldn't make you feel that way either!
Have the talk, not being confrontational, just tell him what has been happening that isn't what you expected while assuring him that you do love him & want the relationship to work and be a happy one. Hopefully, he will completely understand and become a more responsible partner.
Communication is the key. You have to talk about it together. Everyone is right, it will get worse if not. May still get worse even after talking about it, but you have to or you will lose your mind! lol
I kinda thought you were getting too many pets, but figured it was none of my business Not everyone is as responsible as the rest of us...try making serious talk. Remember not to use a lot of "you this, you that", instead make it" I feel this, I feel that", it is more constructive, and makes people less defensive. Good luck talking to him. Oh, and you have too many pets Good luck with that. I have 4 dogs and a cat, and 2 fish. I feel way too busy. I have been with more, but realised it was way too much work for me. Can't save the world, no matter how big your heart is. Leave a little time for yourself. Still, your pets are lucky to have someone as caring as you...
Oh, and rereading your post, make him fork out some cash, now...If you are spending time, he can spend his dime If he does not want to spend time, he should pay up.
Wait he does not pay for anything at alllllllllllll. Sit him down and tell him how stressed out you are over the fact he does nothing. You are not his housemaid. Granted my hubby is a slob himself. But he works hard at his job. He does things when I get on his case though. I work seasonal. So I don't complain a heck of alot. But sit that guy down and have a heart to heart. Tell him you are serious. Either way, Talking it out will have a bad or good outcome. Or not talking will just make you even more resentful.
wow syd. thats not right at all. a relationship should be 50-50. you will eventually get to the point where you will resent him. tell him that you would like to make a time to talk. and schedule it when you both are free for a couple of hours. unplug the phone and hide the remotes. put a do not disturb sign on your front door. sit down together and let him know how you feel. then allow him a chance to tell you his feelings. go from there. maybe he doesnt even realize what hes doing(not doing). work out a plan that you both agree on and stick to it. sometimes we get caught up in routines and dont think how it might be affecting the other one. if nothing changes after that, then YOU need to decide what you want. either one of you goes or stay together and grin and bear it.
Good luck with that. I have 4 dogs and a cat, and 2 fish. I feel way too busy. I have been with more, but realised it was way too much work for me. 
If he does not want to spend time, he should pay up. 
