Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Can't live with them, can't live w/o them...


~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!

Status: Offline
Posts: 3484
Date:
Can't live with them, can't live w/o them...


1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND;


He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . You wear pants don't you?


He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!


He said . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
She said ...... . . They already have boyfriends.

She said...What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?
He said . . . A widow.

He said . . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.


__________________


Post-a-Holic - Give this person a rabies shot!

Status: Offline
Posts: 613
Date:

lmao that is all so very true..gotta love em

__________________


Post-a-Holic - Give this person a rabies shot!

Status: Offline
Posts: 676
Date:

Ha! everythings the opposite with Matt and I. I have a great guy. We fart in front of each other(how romantic), we know where the other one is all the time, and we can actually talk things out :)


"6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding."


The female above is stupid, ha. Everyone farts so why be embarassed?



__________________


~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!

Status: Offline
Posts: 2653
Date:

very funny and VERY true .this one i really can relate to. lol


He said . . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.



__________________
Image hosted by Photobucket.com


~Grand Champion~ Gold Medal Poster!

Status: Offline
Posts: 2395
Date:

LMAO!!!! My favorite.....


 


He said . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . We don't know; it has never happened.



__________________


You have been awarded the Posting Star of Honor!

Status: Offline
Posts: 1456
Date:

Those are excellent and very true of my friends boyfriend ..he defiantely is a stereotypical man.


 



__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse
Powered by ActiveBoard