Forrest Gump Dies
>
>The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is
at the
>Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed
and
>Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's
>certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell
you,
>though, that the place is filling up fast, and we've been
administering an
>entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to
pass
>it before you can get into Heaven."
>
>
>Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here , St. Peter, sir. But
nobody
>ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too
hard;
>life was a big enough test as it was."
>
>
>St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three
>questions.
>
>First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
>
>Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
>
>Third: What is God's first name?"
>
>Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and
>sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a
chance
>to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
>
>
>Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin
with
>the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow.
>
>
>The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what
I was
>thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so
I'll
>give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks St.
Peter.
>
>
>"How many seconds in a year?"
>
>"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about
that a
>nod I guess the only answer can be twelve."
>
>Astounded, St Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's
name
>could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
>
>
>Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February
2nd,
>March 2nd. "
>
>"Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this,
and
>I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind. But I'll
>have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the third
and
>final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?
>
>"Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy."
>
>"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can
>understand how you came up with your answers to my first two
questions, but
>just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first
name
>of God?"
>
>
>"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt
it
>from the song. . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS
ME I
>AM HIS OWN. . . "
>
>
>St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."
>
>Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
>
>Give me the grace to see a joke,
>
>To get some humor out of life, and pass it on to other folk Because it
>does not get any better than this -
>