>Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his
>father. He watched as his father moved from horse to
>horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs,
>rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked,
>"Dad, why are you doing that?"
>
>His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I
>have to make sure that they are healthy and in good
>shape before I buy.
>
>Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS
>guy wants to buy Mom."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

>Heaven
>
>A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.
>
>Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt,
leather
>jacket, and jeans.
>
>Saint Peter addresses this guy: "Who are you, so
>that I may know whether or not to admit you to the
>Kingdom of Heaven?"
>
>The guy replies: "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, of Noo Yawk City."
>
>St. Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to
>the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden
>staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
>
>The taxi driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the
>minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow,
pastor
>of Calvary Church for the last forty-three years."
>
>St. Peter consults his list. He says to the
>minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff
>and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
>
>"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi driver,
and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?"
>
>"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter.
>"While you preached, people slept; while he drove,
>people prayed."
>==========================================