> Subject: Fw: Vancouver 2010 and other stories > > Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the >>>2010 Winter >>> >> Olympics, these are some questions people the >>>world over are asking!!!! >>> >> >>> >> Believe it or not these questions about Canada >>>were posted on an >>> >> International Tourism Website (frightening, isn't >>>it!) >>> >> >>> >> Obviously, the answers are a joke; but the >>>questions were really >>> >> asked. >>> >>> >> Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so >>>how do the plants >>> >> grow?(UK) >>> >> >>> >> A. We import all plants fully grown and then just >>>sit around and >>> >> watch >>> >> them die. >>> >>--------------------- >>> >> Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the >>>street? (USA) >>> >> >>> >> A:Depends on how much you've been drinking. >>> >>--------------------- >>> >> Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I >>>follow the >>> >> Railroad tracks? >>> >> (Sweden) >>> >> A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots >>>of water. >>> >>--------------------- >>> >> >>> >> Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in >>>Canada? (Sweden) >>> >> A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. >>> >>--------------------- >>> >> Q: It is imperative that I find the names and >>>addresses of places >>> >> to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy) >>> >> A:Let's not touch this one. >>> >>--------------------- >>> >> Q: Are there any ATM's(cash machines) in Canada? >>>Can you send me a >>> >> list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and >>>Halifax? (UK) >>> >> A: What did your last slave die of? >>> >>---------------------- >>> >> Q: Can you give me some information about hippo >>>racing in Canada? >>> >> (USA ) >>> >> A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent >>>south of Europe. >>> >> Ca-na-da is >>> >> that big country to your North...oh forget it. >>>Sure, the hippo >>> >> racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come >>>naked. >>> >>----------------------- >>> >> Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA) >>> >> A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact >>>us when you get >>> >> here and we'll send the rest of the directions. >>> >>----------------------- >>> >> Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK) >>> >> A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. >>> >>------------------------ >>> >> Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir >>>schedule? (USA) >>> >> A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country >>>bordering Ger-man-y, >>> >> which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys >>>Choir plays every >>> >> Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, >>>straight after the hippo >>> >> races. Comenaked. >>> >>------------------------- >>> >> Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany) >>> >> A: No, WE don't stink. >>> >>------------------------- >>> >> Q: I have developed a new product that is the >>>fountain of >>> >> youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA) >>> >> A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans >>>gather. >>> >>------------------------- >>> >> Q: Can you tell me the regions in British >>>Columbia where the >>> >> female population is smaller than the male >>>population? (Italy) >>> >> A: Yes, gay nightclubs. >>> >>-------------------------- >>> >> Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA) >>> >>> >> A: Only at Thanksgiving. >>> >>-------------------------- >>> >> Q:Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk >>>available all year >>> >> round? (Germany) >>> >> A:No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan >>>hunter/gathers. Milk >>> >> is illegal. >>> >>--------------------------- >>> >> Q: I have a question about a famous animal in >>>Canada, but I >>> >> forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with >>>horns. (USA) >>> >> A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very >>>violent, >>> >> eating the brains of anyone walking close to >>>them. You can scare them >>> >> off by spraying yourself with human urine before >>>you go out >>> >> walking. >>> >>----------------------------- >>> >> Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I >>>go? (USA) >>> >> A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first. >>> >>----------------------------- >>> >> Please send this on to any who you think will >>>enjoy it as much as I >>> >> have
I was just about to say how much fun hippo races are when you're naked (they make you feel skinny) but than I read what tuna said and about pee'd my pants!
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Saving just one dog won't save the world, but it surely will change the world for that one dog. -Richard C. Call