Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial flight.

> > >After they're airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in the
window
> > >seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a loud voice, "Admiral,

> > >United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons."

> > >After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states through a tight
lipped
> > >smile, "Admiral, United States Coast Guard, retired. Married, two sons,
> > >both Judges."

> > >After some thought, the fellow in the center seat decides to introduce
> > >himself. With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims, "Master Chief Gunnery
> > >Sergeant, United States Marines, retired. Never married, two sons, both
> > >Admirals.
> > >
> >
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------
> > >
> > >During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving
> > >down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck
> in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.
> > >"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled
> > >alongside.
> > >
> > >"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys,
> > "Yours is."
> > >
> >
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------
> > >
> > >Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
> > >Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
> > >Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!
> > >Do you have change for a dollar?"
> > >Soldier: "No, SIR!"
> > >
> >
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------
> > >
> > >Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
> > >A: He'll tell you.
> > >Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots?
> > >A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.
> > >
> >
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------
> > >
> > >"Well," snarled the tough old Navy chief to the bewildered seaman,
> > >"I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be
> > >Waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me,
> > >Chief!" the seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy,
> > >I'm never going to stand in line again!"
> > >
> >
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------
> > >
> > >The elderly American gentleman arrived in Paris by plane.
> > >At French Customs, he fumbled for his passport.
> > >
> > >"You 'ave been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer
> > >asked sarcastically.
> > >
> > >The old gent admitted that he had been to France previously.
> > >
> > >"Zen, you should know enough to 'ave your passport ready for
> > inspection."
> > >The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
> > >"Impossible. You Americans alwayz 'ave to show your passports on arrival
> > in France!"
> > >
> > >The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look.
> > >Then he quietly explained, "Well, when I came ashore at
> > >Omaha Beach in '44 I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to.
> > >
> > >