> A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains > > to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They > > would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk > > shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people > > isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a > > bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. > > They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and > > attempt to convert it. Seven days later, they're all together to > > discuss the experience. > > Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has > > various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods > > > to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from > > the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began > > > to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him > > and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop > > is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation." > > > > Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm > > and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and > > brimstone oratory he claimed, " Well brothers, you know that we don't > > sprinkle! I went out and I found me a bear. And then I began to read > > > to my bear from God's Holy Words! But that bear wanted nothing to do > > with me. So I took hold of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled > > down one hill, up another and down another until we came to a creek. > > So I quick dunked him and baptized his hairy soul. And just like you > > said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day > > praising Jesus." > > They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. > > He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in > > and out of him. He was in bad shape. > > The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not > > > have been the best way to start." > >
>>>>> A Texan is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on his cell> phone. He hangs up grinning from ear to ear and orders a round of drinks> for everyone in the bar, announcing his wife has delivered a Typical Texas> baby boy weighing 25 pounds.> Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the> Texan just shrugs, "That's about average down home folks, like I said, my> boy's a Typical Texas baby boy. Congratulations showered him from all> around.> Two weeks later he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say you're> the father of that Typical Texas baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth.> Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So how> much does he weigh now?"> The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."> The bartender is puzzled, concerned, and a little suspicious. "What> happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"> The Texas father takes a slow swig from his Lone Star beer, wipes his> lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says,> "Had'm circumcised!">> .
