I came home from doing errands yesterday and Lucy (cocker spaniel) was just laying around which isn't really all that unusual for her because she was 13 yrs. old we think.  Than when she didn't eat dinner I was extremely concerned.  I have a dog sitter that comes to my house and stays with the dogs when we take trips and such so since I knew I was going to be gone a while today I called her to come stay with the dogs today because I didn't want Lucy alone.  I cut my day as early as possible (I wouldn't have gone at all but it was medically necessary) and when I got home the sitter told me that Lucy hadn't moved all day and she wouldn't eat her treats that were taken to her.  I immediately put her and the kids in the car and off to the vet we went.  We did x-rays and found out she had liver cancer and that she wouldn't live through the night.  The girls and I held her while she was put down.  This is so hard for me.  Putting her down wouldn't bother me so bad because she lived a long and good life but I am so upset because how long was she in pain and I didn't know it?  She never seemed like she was but how could she not have liver cancer and not have suffered?  The fact that I'm pregnant and unbelievably emotional isn't helping this at all.
I won't say Lucy was a good dog because she really wasn't, not to any fault of hers but that doesn't mean I loved her any less.  I'll never forget the day I adopted her and brought her home.  Poor thing was skin and bones and scared to death.  I immediately fed her when I got her home and she just kept eating and eating.  I didn't think she was ever going to stop.  She finally stopped when it started coming out of both ends.  I didn't know any better.  I was only 18.  She was the first dog my husband and I adopted together.  (I came into the marriage with Daisy who is now 14.)  Lucy was a MAJOR biter.  If you were petting her and she didn't want you to pet her anymore, she bit.  If you walked by her when she was sleeping and woke her up, she bit.  The kids weren't afraid of her but even little Gillian at just 2 wouldn't go anywhere near her if she was sleeping.  I can't think of anything you could do to Lucy that wouldn't make her bite.  Although out of all of the biting she was my one dog who took food out of your hand very nicely.  The other dogs just snatch.  Lucy lost a lot of bites that way.  She just wasn't quick enough. 
I have to go lay down and calm myself down now.  I'm having major stomach cramps.  I can't deal with this.  My poor little loved Lucy.  The other dogs are very depressed.  Its like they know she's not coming back.