Rules for Non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets:
1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. 3. I like my pet better than I like most people. 4. To you it's an animal. To me he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train. Usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug using friends, don't drink or smoke, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.
1. the dog is not allowed in the house. 2. okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms. 3. the dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture. 4. the dog can get on the old furniture only. 5. fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed. 6. okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation. 7. the dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers. 8. the dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only. 9. the dog can sleep under the covers every night. 10. humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog
