• Thou shalt not act half starved whenever thou watches me eat.
  
  
  
• Thou shalt not lift thy leg to water the Christmas tree.
  
  
  
• Thou shalt not roll in any smelley stuff thy finds in the yard.
  
  
  
• Thou shalt not lie down next to me and commence making licking and popping noises. (I know what thou art doing!)
  
  
  
• Thou shalt not dig up my favorite rose bush.
  
  
  
• Thou shalt not treat my shoes as if they were thy chew toy.
  
  
  
• Thou shalt not drink out of the toilet.
  
  
  
• Thou shalt keep thy nose out of the cat's litter box.
  
  
  
• Thou shalt not WATCH the cat while she is in her litterbox. (she likes her privacy)
  
  
  
• Thou shalt not pass gas in my presence, and then walk away as if thou has been offended by me.
  
  
  
• Thou shalt not run away from home in pursuit of a good time. (thou has been nuetered)
  
  
  
• Thou shalt refrain from coughing and gagging while we have company.
  
  
  
• Thou shall not hide thy bones under my pillow.
  
  
  
• Thou shalt not sniff the crotch of everyone thy encounters.
  
  
  
• Thou shalt not harmonize with the cat at 2am.
  
  
  
• Thou shalt not sneak up on me and lick me in the mouth while I am sleeping.
  
  
  
• Thou shalt refrain from becoming overly affectionate with my mother-in-law's leg.