Welcome back to your site. I like the new look. Ok, I have to know, what happened with the jail thing?

Always watching, TW

Lol....well....I'm a hardened criminal (not really).

I had a court date that I totally forgot about.  Things like that never slip my mind.....but this one did.  The next day, I realized I had missed so I called the courts.  They informed me that a warrant would be issued for my arrest.  I knew that this would happen and told the clerk I wanted to come turn myself in.

Well it took a month of phone calls before they finally got the paperwork ready.  An officer came to my house one morning and had my warrant.  I asked if I could tur myself in as I hadn't made arrangements for my kids yet.  No problem.

I called on a Friday to see what I needed to do.  The clerk said that my bond was $10,000!!!  I about flipped out. That meant I had to pay $1000 to get out of jail!  She then told me that if I came up there Sunday night, I would be arraigned Mondy morning and released.  I thought.....ok.....I'll spend a night in jail to save a grand that I really don't have.

My nephew dropped me off and I was escorted to the jail.  I was booked and given a jail uniform (blue).  I was then taken to my cell about midnight.  There was some other woman in there asleep (this was a holding cell, not the actual jail).  I took my little matt and laid it on the floor.  At some point another woman came in.  There were 3 of us in this small room (6x9, I believe).  There was a toilet and a water fountain.....but the water fountain was made on to the top of the toilet (where the toilet bowl is) and I just wasn't THAT thirsty...lol

I fll asleep at some point.....freezing to death.  The matt was about 2 inches thick and that concrete floor HURT!  Finally....at some point in the morning the lights came on and they were shoving breakfast through a slot in the door.  We scrambeled off the floor like wild animals to eat.  We had no idea what time it was.  We could not see any clocks....there were 4 block walls with a door on one and the door had a very small window in it......but you couldnt see anything but another block wall from there....lol

We did have a call button on the wall so that we could reach the jailers.  I used it to ask if I was going before the judge that day.  They said that I was.  I was SO ready to be out of that place. The hours kept ticking by.....and I was getting nervous....we could only estimate the time by when we were served food.  Having NO concept of real time is awful.  You dont know if you've slept for 30 minutes or 6 hours......and you can only sleep so much.

Needless to say, I didn't go to court Monday.  I was told I would go Tuesday.  About midday (lunch) Tuesday I asked if I could use my one phone call.  They said sure....but I had to wait until  male inmate got off the phone.  Hours passed by.  I kept aggrivating the crap out of them......which is probably why they toyed with me.  I finally saw a clock when I got out to make the call and it was 5PM.

I called my dad......and was bawling at this point.  I had been there almost 2 days and was cold, hadn't been to the bathroom (I just cant go with people sitting 2 feet from me) and missed my kids.  My dad told me that he had talked to the court clerk and she said that it would be Thursday before I got to see a judge.

Now.....times are hard for everyone and I didn't have a grand laying around to bail myself out with.  I didn't have the heart to ask my parents for it because its been rough on them too.  I sucked it up and went back to my holding cell.

Wednesday morning I got up and asked if I could please tak a shower.  I got to.  Later that day we were moved up to the actual jail.....with 12 other women.  It was a much bigger room, with a tv, bunk beds, tables, and a few decks of cards.  Some of those girls had been in there for months....I just dont know how they do it.

Thursday comes and I have a pre-set court date with my odest son who had gotten in trouble at school (nothing major).  We had an attorney. They came and got me for court and shackeled me like I was going to the electric chair...lol.  My feet had chains, my hands were cuffed, and then my hands were also cuffed to a chain that went around my waist.

Went to court and the juvenile judge sentenced my son to 5 days in a Juvenile Detention Center over a hundred miles away.  None of us had any idea this was coming....our attorney was even shocked.  I asked if I could see my son and was told no...we were both inmates and inmates couldnt have contact with each other.  I was taken back to the jail and he was immediately taken to Juvie.  As a mother, I cannot tell you how helpless I felt.  He had never been in any trouble.....and I know he was scared.  There was nothing I could do.

I went back to the jail bawling my head off again.  I called my parents to tell them that James wasn't coming home today.....or for 5 more days.

I did not see a judge on Thursday.

The next morning  (Friday) I had a pre-set court date with JT regarding child support.  The court date was set for 9AM but they didn't come get me until 11:30AM.  I didn't know what was going on.  I went into the same court, same judge as with my other son the day before - shackeled up again - and saw JT standing there.....he looked at me and said "how's it goin?".  I didn't answer.

The reason we were in court is because he hadn't paid child support in about a year.....so he was in contempt.  The judge called me up and asked when I was getting out....I told her that I didn't know because I didn't know when I would see a judge.  She immediately closed out the child support case and gave full custody of John Thomas to JT because I was an inmate.  I explained  to her that I had arranged for the care of my children while I was incarcerated, but she didn't budge.

Talk about weak....I was WEAK.  I had basically lost both my children in 2 days and was STILL in this damn jail.  I cried like I never cried in my life.  I went back to the jail and called my mom.  I begged her to get me out....I'd pay them half the money now and the other half in a few weeks.  She said they didnt have a thousand dollars cash and that they could put it on a creit card if a bondsman would take a credit card.  She said they'd see what they could do.

About 2 hours later, they came and got me for my arraignment......the judge had been out sick all week and they were way behind (TN state law requires them to arraign you within 72 hous).  They had another judge sit in for the sick one.....and guess who it was?...lol.....the same Juvenile judge who took my kids away.  Yay!  She arraigned me but would not release me.. She gave me a ourt date 10 days out.......which meant if I couldnt post bond.....I had to stay there 10 more days.

I'm a nutcase at this point...even the hardend criminal women were feeling bad for me.  All this because of a DRIVERS LICENSE issue where I missed court!!

About 30 minutes later, they came in on the speaker and told me to gather my things....I was going home.  My mom and dad had bailed me out.  Holy crap....I was shaking.....crying.....I wanted out of there SO bad.

I got home to an empty house.....my mom offered to stay with me but I didnt want her to.  She had things at her house she needed to take care of because she was staying at my house with my boys while I was gone.  I was so glad to be home.....but I had to get my boys back.

(to be continued.......)

-- Edited by Ansy at 21:56, 2009-03-01

cont'd

After my 5 day stint in the slammer.....(sounds good doesn't it?), I got out on a Friday and called JT on Sunday to see what the deal was going to be with John Thomas.  Was he going to give him back or keep full custody?  I called him and casually asked his plans.  He told me he was going to keep full custody.  Well, you just don't tell a mother that.  I don't know what got into him to make him change his tune that way.  John Thomas had lived with me the last 2 years we had been separated.

I don't know why we hadn't already done the divorce at this point - we just hadn't.  Dreaded spending the money I guess.  Neither of us wanted to be back together so not filing was silly, really.

JT had dis-enrolled John Thomas from school that Friday and no one ever said anything to me about it, because after all, I was an inmate and had no rights (eye roll).  Monday rolls around and I'm at the attorneys office filing for divorce and full custody.  I also file an emergency petiion to have John Thomas returned to school until custody can be worked out.  My original plan was to have joint custody of our son because I firmly beleive every child should get to spend time with their parents, regardless of how bad things are between the parents.  I have never kept John Thomas from JT and I never will.

JT, however, has pulled this stunt twice - secretly taking him from school without my knowing......and since we weren't divorced, we both had equal legal rights to him.

John Thomas wasn't in his school - or any other school - for Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, or Fri of that week.  Why JT dis-enrolled him from his school and then didn't enroll him in another school is beyond me.  I have no idea what he was thinking.

Anyway, we had a hearing the followin Monday.  JT didn't show up but the judge did order that John Thomas be brought back to his home school.  I notified JT of the results and instead of driving him 30 miles eac way to school everyday, he let me have John Thomas back.

The next day my oldest son got to come home.

Long story, short - I ended up getting full custody of John Thomas and my divorce was awarded by default (JT never once showed up to court) on Jan. 6th of this year.

JT and I do still speak - we try to be friends but it just never seems to work.  He is allowed to have our son as much as he wants.  If we can work it out between us, I dont see that a court order of every other weekend should have to be followed.

Maybe someday he and I will get along better.  We have both moved on.  He has another son....a beautiful little boy.....that was a year old in December.  He is not with that childs mother either.

We are both single at the moment and ironically, we both want to stay that way.  I have not dated and have no desire to date.  Being a mother is my first priority and I see no need to bring a man into the home that I share with my boys.  I have went out with friends, but I've never brought anyone to my house.

I wont lie and say that I still have the perfect life I had 5 years ago. I don't.  In fact, its done a 180 on me.  I've lost a husband, a career, and a good dose of pride.  Right now I'm still in limbo - just trying to find my place in life.  I'm not exempt from the economy - in fact, Im only working part time right now.

But I will say that in some ways Im happier and I know that  JT is too.  Even on the days when I cant stand him, I still think the world of him and even miss him but I KNOW I could never live with him again.  We polarize each other and although fun at times, we just never could find that middle ground.

So this has been my story for the last few years...and why I haven't been around.  2009 has started out being a good year and I hope to keep it that way.  I do long to talk to the peeps here and hope they will stop by someday.  I think of MollieMae often because she also went through a divorce.  Stormy...omg....she put so much time and effort into this place and I let her down by never being here to help her.......jawlaw.....what a crazy sense of humor she had.......Oasis and her beautiful horses......Kittysmom....alway gave the best advice.....Denise - I always wanted your poodles, I just never told you...lol....they are beautiful dogs....and I hope they are doing well.

And so many others.......if you happen to stop in....be sure to say hello!

Holy Crapola! What a crazy few years for you!

It's all good girl! I figured life was throwing you some wild cards. Glad to know it's finally thrown a decent hand to you.

Ok finished reading... I too have gone through a divorce, back in 91... I hated him with a passion for what he had done to us. My boys still really don't caremuch to spend time with him, even though I made sure he got his alotted every other weekend.he never really took advantage of the one weekday dinner time he could take them for. Never did. I was flexable when there was a family dinner.
Stupid headcase was always inviting me and my new hubby down to (party and bbq) nope not for me. Especially since he was living with his girlfriend that he cheated on me with. LOL

Sooooooooo time passes..... Just a year ago, his now ex(which he had a son with) was working down at the pet supply store that I go to and volnteer on weekends doing adoptions. I walk in and look at the lady squatting down cleaning the bird cage. I say Hiiiiiiii. LOl It was sooo ackward. I eventually was ableto tell her how I felt about it all. She apologized. and we got to the point where we could speak easily. Very odd. It was pretty funny when I told my friends how I knew her. Should have seen their mouths drop.

But Ansy......... Time will heal it all. I still am disgusted by my ex. But I can talk to him and tell him whatever needed. He and you ex are similar in the will to do right by the boys. My ex lived a block and a half from their elementary school and only once came to see anything they did in the auditorium for christmas etc. The biggy was he did not even show up for my sons high school graduation. That hurt I know it did. But things get better.