> > WHY PARENTS DRINK... > > > > > > The boss of a big company needed to call one of his > > > > employees about an Urgent problem with one of the > > > > main computers, dialed the employee's home phone > > > > number and was greeted with a child's whisper. > > > > > > > > "Hello." > > > > > > > > "Is your daddy home?" he asked. > > > > > > > > "Yes," whispered the small voice. > > > > > > > > "May I talk with him?" > > > > > > > > "The child whispered, "No." > > > > > > > > Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the > > > > boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" > > > > > > > > "Yes," > > > > > > > > "May I talk with her?" > > > > > > > > Again the small voice whispered, "No." > > > > > > > > Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a > > > > message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?" > > > > > > > > "Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman." > > > > > > > > Wondering what a cop would be doing at his > > > > emplo yee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with > > > > the policeman?" > > > > > > > > "No, he's busy," whispered the child. > > > > > > > > "Busy doing what?" > > > > > > > > "Talking to! Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came > > > > the whispered answer. > > > > > > > > Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what > > > > sounded like a Helicopter through the earpiece on > > > > the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?" > > > > > > > > "A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice. > > > > > > > > "What is going on there?" asked the boss, now truly > > > > alarmed. > > > > > > > > In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The > > > > search team just landed the hello-copper." > > > > > > > > Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little > > > > frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching > > > > for?" > > > > > > > > Still whispering, the young voice replied along with > > > > a muffled giggle: "ME." > >
That would so be something my son will do I swear! I hide from may parents when I was a kid at the mall. They had the whole mall closed looking for me. The whole time I was sitting in the middle of a cloths rack about 10 feet away. My mom didn't take me shopping with her for years after that!
My drama queen would do that. She hides from me ALL the time. The worst was when she had a friend over and after my husband and I went to bed she decided it would be funny for her friend and her to go hide in the wine cellar and sleep down there. She thought it would be hysterical if she opened the window in her bedroom to make it look like someone came in and took her. My husband and I were hysterical the next morning. She is 6, 4 at the time this happened.
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Saving just one dog won't save the world, but it surely will change the world for that one dog. -Richard C. Call
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,
"They will in a minute." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.
"The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.
'A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. " ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too.
