Well, this may be the beginning of the end for some, but I have to do what I feel is the right thing to do.  Some will be mad, some will be glad, some won't care either way.

I have reinstated all the banned members of this forum:  Merico, Bessieloubop, Pitsanddobes.  I could not reinstate Shadow because her username has been deleted as she requested, however, her IP is not banned.

I take the safety of The Furum's members very seriously, however, convicting the wrong person isn't going to make any of us any safer.  The threat which GinaH recieved does not go over lightly with me, but I can't hang the first person who may have done it.  I'd rather find out who it really is.  As you'll see below, GinaH isn't the only member to recieve a threatening email and the other one that was brought to my attention last night happened long before pits was  amember at either forum.  I have seen this threat, it was not deleted - and I will be looking into it.  I encourage all of you, if you ever recieve anything like this, to hold onto it.  Nothing can be done if these messages are deleted.

WHY did I do this?  Let me go over each one as best I can.

Merico & Bessieloubob - It was pointed out to me that neither of the two actually broke 'forum' rules.  They said things that would have allowed for their banning if they would have said them here.  They didn't, and some thought that was unfair.  I am human and make mistakes.  I want to be as fair as I can and since they did not break a Forum rule, their accounts have been reinstated.  They should not have been banned in the first place.  I was wrong in doing so.

Pitsanddboes - I'm just going to do this one in a question/answer format since I know it will raise the most concerns.

Why was pits banned?  Pits was banned because she confessed that she was the owner of an email account which I was told was associated on the same "account" as the email address which sent GinaH a harrassing email.

Why was pits unbaned?  At the time I banned pits, I saw no other possible way that GinaH could have possible known about pits's other email account (sissy5211@hotmail.com) unless she had, in fact, gotten that information from the MSN representative she spoke with.  It was clear to me that by GinaH having this knowledge, she had to have confirmed it through MSN.  It was later revealed to me that pits's hotmail address noted above, her full name, city, state, and phone number had been posted on both forums.  Anyone of us could have taken this information and performed a search on it and got the same results GinaH did.  Also, anyone who does not like pits could have "said" that MSN told them that both emails in question (sissy5211 and bitchsquad) were on the same account.  You can only have an additional email on a paid MSN account.  Pits's email account is a free email account.  She would have had to sign up under another free email account to use the bitchsquad email, and in that case, the 2 email addressed could not have been linked.  I have puclicly displayed my yahoo email (im_ansy@yahoo.com)  Anyone could have just as easily seen where I posted that email address and said it was me who sent the email to Gina and that Yahoo confirmed it, even though it wouldn't be the case.

Also, it was brought to my attention (and shown to me by another member here) that a similar email had been sent long before any of us even knew pits.  It just so happened that this person on the recieving end kept this particular email and was able to show it to me last night.  The wording of this email and the email GinaH got are just too similar not to be the same person.  We will be looking into that email to see what can be found, but it could not have been pits because it was months ago.

Do you think GinaH is trying to 'set pits up'?  No.  GinaH has every right to be uspet.  I would also be upset, but I think a conversation GinaH and I had the other night may have led her to believe even more that pits was the culprit.  Even I had thoughts that it was pits and made some accusations myself.  I made them based on assumptions and the info I had at the time.  I think thats what GinaH did as well.  We always look to our enimies when something goes wrong.  There had been some issues between GinaH and Pits and I think it was natural for GinaH to think Pits would have been behind this.  I do not think GinaH is a culprit in this either.  It is a bad situation for both of them who are involved.

Why do you believe Pits over GinaH?  I don't.  The fact is, there is no proof to prove either side of this story.  GinaH says she has deleted the email she was sent.  I can't pull the IP address out of the header without this and the email providers cannot do anything without the email being forwarded to them.  Pits says she did not send it and there is no email to prove that she did.  For all I know, they both just want the other banned.

If you don't know who to believe then why are you siding with pits?  I'm not 'siding' with anyone.  Just look at it like a court case.  If these 2 were in court the judge would ask GinaH for proof of her claim since she is the one accusing.  When GinaH provided no proof, the claim would be dismissed and neither party would be penalized.  Without proof, I am just dismissing the claims.

What about all the information regarding pits and what a horrible person she is to her children?  I have read the articles.  They make accusations that the hurt her children, but again, no proof.  They accuse alot of things - but offer no proof.  I could go online and make a website that says all kinds of things about my ex-husband, but that doesn't make it true.  When people are mad, they do malicious things.  Whats to say that pits isn't the victom here?

What about the safety of the members of The Furum?  If you feel unsafe, then this isn't the place for you.  I mean that in a nice way.  As I said before, I have even had bad thoughts about all of this, but I just don't feel that is the whole picture.  I see nothing that tells me pits would be a person that would hunt someone down and harm them.  If she could do that, she could find her kids.  I do think she likes attention and I do think she could could use some therapy.  She has been through alot.  Anyone would need therapy.  I think in our reading we used an already formed opinion and let the material fuel those feelings even further.  When you really read the articles, you can see that she is just a mother who is reaching out for help to find her kids.  The worst claim I saw as that her son arrived at the daycare with a soiled diaper.  You know what, my son has found it convenient to soil his diaper more than once on his way to daycare.  It just happens.  The daycare provider couldn't let pits change the diaper on the premises due to insurance regulations, the same with any business.  Bruises?  My kids get them all the time.  They play in the yard, play with the dogs, fall on the steps, etc.  Thats what kids do.  The claim about her popping her son on the face......if my children say a curse word, they get a pop in the lip.  Their heads are not bashed in, their faces are not bruised, they get a pop.  When teh child said that the next step should have been for the DCS worker to ask the child to show her a demonstration of just what he meant.  Getting a childs attention and beating them are two different things.  Do I whip my children?  No, but for some children thats what it takes to get their attention.  I never recommend whipping a child, but for some, there comes a point where you physically have to get their atention whether it be by holding them down, grabbing them sternly (but not forcefully), or even a whipping.  I do not agree with whippings, but many people parent this way.  For some a whipping is considered child abuse, for some its not.  Each situation has to be dealt with individually and looked at regarding factors such as frequency, strength, outcomes, etc.  I don't see a DCS worker as being able to determine what is and isn't child abuse when there are  no physical marks from whipping a child.  Many are trained well and do a great job, but some aren't.  I have not seen any mention of a police report being filed, pits being in jail, being on trial, or court documents that said she abused her children.  What I see was the over zealous actions of a DCS worker who got angry because pits hit her.  If someone tried to take my child and refused to show me identification, I would hit them as well.  In these documents I see nothing that tells me pits was the perpetrator, rather, she was the victim.  It will be easy for those of you who do not like her to dis-agree with what I've said.  I try to look at the situation as being un-biased.  I work with abused children.  If I thought for a minute that pits had hurt a child, she would not be here.  Even though that would not 'break any forum rules', I still would not want to associate with someone who hurt a child.  The documents I read were either written by pits or someone she knew.  I believe there may have been one or two in PDF format that someone wrote that were accusing her, yet they offeren no proof.  Anyone could have written that stuff.

Do you feel pits is a threat to this forum? No.  Pits and I had talked some just before all this broke loose.  She told me she knew she had anger issues, but she wanted to work on them.  I was helping her do that and she was doing well.  I would have (and still will) set her up with local counselling in her area so that she can address the more important issues.   I do not see anyone getting murdered, shot, stalked, attacked, beaten, or anything else by this woman.  In fact, I can't even see her harrassing anyone at this point.  She wants to be a productive member of this forum and I think she can. 

How do you know that pits isn't just duping you on all of this?  She hasn't given me any reason to think she is.  So far, she has done what I have asked.

Don't you realize that The Furum is going to lose alot of members because of this?  Yes, I realize there will be members to leave over my decision, however, before they do, I wish they would fully read each article and put themselves in pits's shoes when it comes to the whole DCS issue.  If they have other concerns, I will be glad to discuss them.   I don't want to see any member leave.  Each member here plays a valuable part in the success of The Furum.  Each member has something unique to add.  I wouldn't risk losing several members if I didn't firmly think I was doing the right thing here.  If any members choose to leave, I will respect their decision with no hard feelings.  Katz, Stormy, and the rest of you - I think the world of all of you, but I have to do what is right in my eyes.  You know i would do it for you as well.   this decision was not made by me alone.  There were about 10 others (that I know of) who saw the misfortune that was happening here.  Some have already apologized to pits for jumping to conclusions.  They were like me, they thought that GinaH getting that email info from MSN was the only way It could have been gotten.  They didn't realize it had been posted on the forums along with all of the other personal information which could have given anyone ammo to use.

What do I think is going on here? I think someone has alot of time on their hands and they are using GinaH and pits to accomplish their motive, although, I'm unsure of what the motive is at this point.  I see both people as victoms here.

Don't you realize that TP is going to have a field day with your decision?  I'm sure remarks will be made, but that is their right.  We all have opinions.  I ask that you not participate in fueling their comments any more than what they will be.  Although we may not agree with what they are posting/commenting about The Furum, it is still their right to post their opinions and we should respect that.  I also ask that we not get into a forum bashing fest again.  Don't get upset by what others say, lets learn from what has happened here and allow them the privacy to discuss their own matters.  Pits is not an active member there, she is an active member here, and any comments regarding this should stay here.  Of course they will talk about it.  It's going to be the Topic of the Day.  Thats Ok.  They have a discussion board and they are allowed to use it to discuss things.

You know that your members will think less of you for doing this, right?  I am confident that the members here will respect my decision and know that I based it on the factual information that was or was not given.  I also trust that they will continue to be members here and contribute to the success of The Furum and that I would never put them in harms way of an internet prowler.  I do not think any less of anyone who expressed their comments last night and I hope they can do the same for me.

I know you will still have questions.  Lets all discuss this in an adult manner and hope we can all come to some kind of an agreement.  I don't want this to be a fighting issue, but I fear it will.  What kind of a person would I be if I let my members be subjected to a harmful person?  This may be the internet, but I think more of myself and the members here than to do that.

Remember.....before you assume that I did something for a particular reason, ask me first and give me the chance to explain, if in fact, an explanation is needed.