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oasis05


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Arizona Joke....lol
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My Move to Arizona

May 30th: Just moved to Arizona.  Now this is a state that knows how to live!!  Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.  What a place!  It is beautiful.  I've finally found my home.  I love it here.

June 14th: Really heating up.  Got to 100 today.  Not a problem.  Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.  What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this.  I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today.  Lots of cactus and rocks.  What a breeze to maintain.  No more mowing lawn for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week.  How do people get used to this kind of heat?  At least it's kind of windy though.  But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th: Fell asleep by the community pool.  (Got 3rd degree burns over
60% of my body).  Missed 3 days of work.  What a dumb thing to do.  I learned my lesson though.  Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th: I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.  By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the upholstery.
The car now smells like Kibbles and cr**.  I learned my lesson though.  No more pets in this heat.

July 25th: The wind sucks.  It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!!
And it's hot as he**.  The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts

July 30th: Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now.
$225,000 house and I can't even go inside.  Why did I ever come here?

Aug.  4th:  Its 115 degrees.  Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.
It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85.  I hate this stupid state.

Aug.  8th: If another wise a** cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to strangle him.  Da** heat.  By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug.  9th: Tried to run some errands after work.  Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my a** was on fire.  I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and a**.  Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried a**, and baked cat.

Aug 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording.  Hot and sunny.  Hot and sunny.  Hot and sunny.  It's been too hot to do cr** for 2  months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this stupid desert?  Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over.  Even the cactus can't live in this heat.

Aug.  14th: Welcome to HE**!  Temperature got to 115 today.  Forgot to crack the window and blew the freaking windshield of the car.  The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend $1500 to bail me out of jail.  Stupid Arizona.  What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??  Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.

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Kittys Mom


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That was so true. Supposedly I am to inherit a desert house. That was a prediction of how life will be. However, it neglected to mention the absolute bitter cold of winter.

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roxygirl09


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Funny!!  I love when people post a good joke!

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Jeanne Lennon
oasis05


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Despite all that the joke says (which is mostly true....lol)  I love it here in Az.  Don't miss the snow at all!

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Paige


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Too funny!! I think that could actually pass for where I live too. Only we get really humid. Sometimes I wonder why I even live here.

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moencat


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I'm going to send this one to my friend who is moving to Awhatukee next month...very funny!  But I miss it so much down there....:(

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PitPat2AZ


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I was feeling the same way when I moved here 25 yrs ago. Now I consider myself a native and official desert rat. The part about the cat made me sad, though. Believe it or not you hear of stupid people leaving pets and even their kids in hot cars here.


Glad to see some other Zonies here.



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MollieMae01


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I wish we had that same problem here in Iowa!! Great joke, O!! Isn't it fun to make jokes about your own state?? We Iowans get called "Idiots Out Wandering Around" lol.

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Paige


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I'm not sure if texas reall yhas any sort of thing labeled on us. Only we get called rednecks and that bugs me kind of. I also don't like to be called a hick. I remember once when I went to Colorado with a big group and we got made fun of because of our accent. I never thought I even had one.

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Sandyboo


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I live in B.C. and i'm thankful it doesn't get too hot here. but hot enough for me! i don't think i'd be able to handle heat like that! cute joke though!

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oasis05


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Paige- I moved here to Arizona 3 years ago from Colorado and i can tell you first hand that Coloradon's suck.....lol  My family if from Colorado and Oklahoma and my brother has a strong southern accent.  Funny thing is.....people here love to listen to him talk....hehe

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