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Post Info TOPIC: advice


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advice


sorry i have been posting so many off topic posts lately, this is my last i promise!! I just need advice, i already talked with a few of you in chat the other night but now i need to do something about my problem. So here it is....


 


Almost 2 months ago my bestfriend got kicked out of her parents house. I told her she could live with me and not pay rent. When i said this I was thinking of this being a short term thing, i thought her parents would end up taking her back. Anyway she has a lot of bills so she cant afford her own place and IF she did pay me rent it wouldnt be the fair amount, it would only be like 200. So now I have 3 roomates. My co worker and her boyfriend(who i have no problem with cause they pay full rent) and my best friend who pays no rent and lives in the dogs old room, displacing the dogs. Now my boyfriend is moving in, he will be paying full rent. Now wether she pays rent or not, there will be way to many people living in this small house. So my bestfriend has to go, maybe not right away, but soon, like in a month at the most.


Since I am doing my bestfriend a favor and I know she has no where else to go, i feel bad even mentioning the fact that this isnt perminant. also since my bf is moving in, i dont want her to think its cause of him and that i am replacing her. Its just that im doing her a favor and i wont be able to do this anymore. She is kind of sensitive and i dont know what to say. She really has no where else to go, i dont think her parents will take her back. She doesnt make enough to move out on her own, she really has no options. Since she is my bestfriend i dont want to kick her out in the cold,but she cant stay here permanently. Its just too much and i think it already has started to put a strain on our friendship.I just feel real bad, and i am not good with talking to people, i always say the wrong things. What do I say?



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~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!

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Better to take the $200.Isn't sub letting illegal anyway?

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Moderator

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I'd have her pay the 200 but now there is too many people so she has to go, since my bf will be paying more he is staying.


When i moved in my landlord said if i get any roomates to just let her know, which i have, except she doesnt know about the bestfriend, just the other roomates.



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you have already done alot for her. you have a life too.and its not really fair to the roomates who are paying their share. tell her she has one month to make other arrangements. and maybe even set aside some money to help her get into another place. if she can afford 200 per month ,then she could find someone else that needs a roomate/s and share with them. i can tell you really care but there is something they call "tough love " and you are going to have to enforce it . it sounds to me like you are stuck in the middle of a no win situation and you need to get out of the middle and climb on top of it ! you have your life and she has hers and if hers is disrupting yours then you need to get it together and put your foot down and STICK to your guns !  she will be fine and you will have peace of mind...........all the best......dusty

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~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!

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Young women can't just live on the streets.
Is there a YWCA or some such thing around that she can go too?
When I was young, I rented this house with my brother. His now wife, had a big sob story about being kicked out by her parents. Turns out I found out much later that they had begged her to stay, but she wanted to move out. [That was long story short] Have you actually talked to her parents yourself? Not calling her a liar, but maybe with intervention they can take her back. If the situation there was abusive, she may be eligible for a women's shelter and job program.
My sympathy, it's darn tough just paying rent.

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update:  I just saw my other roomate, the one i dont have problems with. And she said my best friend asked her to move out with her. That me made me mad, b/c my other roomate moved in and is paying rent and my bestfriend thinks she can just ask her to move out with her! I'm going to talk more about this with my other roomate, but geez.

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Puppy Post'er (I'm gonna be one BAD dog someday!)

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Maybe your best friend will have to work things out with her parents and save up so she can get a place of her own. 


Maybe she's in no rush to leave your place cuz she doesn't have to.  I don't know your ages but if she's your best friend, you probably know her parents...maybe you could talk to them and she can go back home and everyone lives happily ever after...for now.


Good luck.



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MAD DOG!

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Your best friend is trying to sabotage you by asking your other roommate to move out with her. You need to intervene asap. Good luck

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Puppy Post'er (I'm gonna be one BAD dog someday!)

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Yeah, Syd, that sucks. As I said in chat though, you have your own life, you are not responsible for her happiness, only your own. Comfort in your house is terribly important. Give her thirty days, in writing. Have her sign it. If she refuses to vacate, for any reason, ie, too lazy to get another job so she cant afford it, etc, call the cops and have her removed. Sounds harsh, yeah, but a 21 year old woman should be self sufficient if she's incapable of living by the boundaries set forth by her parents. You do what'cha gotta do to be happy, and I say all bets are off that shes trying to ruin your financial security for her own gain by being sneaky and stealing your rent paying roomie. She's obviously only concerned about herself, so it's high time you take on that attitude! Good luck, keep us posted on how it works out for ya!

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~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!

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You said she is your best friend.
Best friends often outlive boyfriends in a relationship with you.
She is desperate and stealing a roommate seems like a good option to being alone. They would both benefit by having more room, and less people.
I agree that it would be more difficult for you, but you are getting another full paying person[the boyfriend], while losing a non-paying person, and perhaps-if the roommate goes w/her, one girl that pays. You will have the same amount of money coming in, but not the extra that you may have thought to get with the boyfriend. I say be as nice as possible and, fine, set time limits for her, but don't burn any bridges....be nice, the result will be the same-but no hard feelings.

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