I thought I would pass this along as a public service announcement.
Earlier
this year, it happened to me.  This is a heads-up to those friends
who
haven't
experienced it yet, and an explanation to those friends and family
who have.

  Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose
kidneys were
stolen while he was passed out.  Well, read on.  While the kidney
story was
an
urban legend, this one is not.  It's happening every day.

  My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. 
It was
just
that quick.  I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone
else's
thighs.  The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal.  Who would
have
done
such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years?  Whose
thighs were
these and what happened to mine?  I spent the entire summer looking
for my
thighs.  Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my
life in

jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.

  Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again.  My
butt was
next.  I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match
my new
rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than
my
original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier.  Now, my rear
complemented
my legs, lump for lump.  Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would
stay in
fashion.

  It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. 
One
morning
I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as the
flesh of
my
upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush.  This
was
really
getting scary.  My body was being replaced one section at a time. 
How
clever
and fiendish.

  Age?  Age had nothing to do with it.  Age is supposed to creep up,
unnoticed, something like maturity.  NO, I was being attacked
repeatedly and

without warning.

  In despair, I gave up my T-shirts.  What could they do to me next?

  My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey
it now
resembled.

  That's why I decided to tell my story.  I can't take on the
medical
profession by myself.  Women of the world, wake up and smell the
coffee.
That
really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using.  You KNOW where
they are

getting those replacement parts, don't you?  The next time you
suspect
someone
has had a face "lifted", look again.  Was it lifted from you?  I
think I
finally found my thighs ... and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a
really
good
price for them!

  This is NOT a hoax.  This is happening to women in every town
every night.

  WARN YOUR FRIENDS.

  P.S.  I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my
breasts.
I
was lying in bed and they were gone!  As I jumped out of bed I was
relieved
to
see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept.  Now I
keep
them
hidden in my waistband.


Hope I brought a smile to your day!