i have been in tears all morning. i have six kids and just the two sixteen year old girls left at home. sarah is my problem child and blames me because her mother dumped her and her brother on my doorstep and disappeared when they were small. when i contacted dhsh after a year went by and no sign of her, they said they could send a social worker out to pick them up, but they would be placed in foster care and most likely not kept together. so i told them that i had already had them for a year and they didnt want to be separated so they could stay with me. i was a single mom with four of my own already. a family friends wife died so norm ,who was 60 ,came and stayed and helped with the bills. he was a lifesaver. he bought all the food. did all the cooking and got the kids off to school everyday. and basically helped raise them. we lost norm about three years back ,shortly after i met quinn. quinn has been an excellent step-dad. we bought our place and he provides well for my girls and they consider him "dad". they have their own bedrooms, each has their own computers,cell phones,tvs,dvd player, stereos, and more clothes than they can ever wear. but the biggest part is we LOVE them. and still sarah ran off ,quit school and is with some guy that she thinks "loves her". i have been through the running around with the police trying to chase her down. and i have given up. i still have another daughter that needs me. kayla is my biological dughter and i have never shown favoratism towards her over sarah. but they are totally opposite. kayla is a loving soul. into god, school activities, and gets A'S on her report card. she even loved cheerleading but gave it up because she said they were so "mean" to people and didnt want to be associated with them type of people.she is in the upward bound program for kids that have a B or above average and want to earn credits towards colledge. her and 4 other kids in the program left today . they flew them to idaho, where they will be staying at the university of idaho state college for six weeks.it will be the longest she has ever been away from home and her first time flying, even though the plane ride was only an hour. she called around noon to tell me they had just landed and will call later when they all get settled in. the emptyness in my heart is stifeling. i know she will be going off to college in a couple of years and i try not to think about it. when i hear people talk about how glad they are that their kids are grown and gone, i dont understand them. i am dreading the day !!! sorry so long winded, it just helps to vent sometimes. she's only been gone a few hours and i miss her terribly !
The empty nest syndrome can be devasting to say the least! I know when my daughter first left I felt as tho my world was so empty even tho I was able to talk to her on the phone often and see her on a regular basis. It just wasn't the same as her living here. Then she moved back home for about a year, then she moved out, got married, had 2 wonderful sons and then moved back in with the boys about 3 years ago. Someone up above knew what they were doing because 3 months after she moved back home her Dad ended up in the hospital and we lost him. I was so glad that we had 3 great months together and the boys & Ken had such a wonderful time together and the boys will always have those great memories of PopPop. Now here I am again after 3 years of the hustle & bustle of having my grandsons & daughter living here back to being just me & the dogs. She has met a wonderful guy and her & the boys are making a life with him. Yes, I still see them but again it's just not the same.
So I understand completely how you are feeling. It is tough but I think it goes along with being a Mom. You & Kayla have a wonderful relationship and I think there is something about mothers & their daughters - the bond is so strong. I know, even tho my daughter & I got along well (or as well as any mother can expect with a teenager) now that she is older we are truly friends as well.
Just think of all the wonderful things you have to look forward to in the years to come because of the wonderful daughter you have raised. Eventually you will have a great son-in-law and the two of them will bless you with gorgeous grandbabies to spoil rotten!
I get really depressed when I think about how short the next few years will be... my son is only 12 but it has gone by so fast! He only has about 6 more years at home and I dread it soooooooooooo bad! I could really let it get to me, but I need to make the next 6 years good ones! I told him he just has to get married after college and give me lots of grandkids...lol
I know all about this feeling. My son is going to go to school in Alabama for the next couple years. His dad wants to spend some more time with him. I let him go one year there and it about killed me. He has some social issues though and I know they stem from our divorce and Neil being so far away. I could never ever deny him time with his Dad. I am split emotionally right down the middle....yes, he should be able to go and have that quality time and no, he should stay with me because we have always been together and this will crush me. Ty is the same way though. Wants to go, but doesn't want to leave me. HHmmmmm, I better quit talking about it...starting to get bummed out.
My children are still very young (3 and 5), but I am sure I will get empty nest syndrome really badly when they are that age as well. Stay tough, and just know how much she loves you, and that she will be back before you know it
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-The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all
I'm sooo sorry you feel so bad Dusty. I will be in your boat soon, I beleive. I have one son soon to be 18, atill needs to graduate, so that will be a while. But he is itching to go. Then my other son, realizes he is better here, till he is over with school. Community college is all we can do. But he understands he's better off staying home as long as possible. I dread them going too, I really do.
