Need some details...what happened???  That's not good that you're not even sure whether or not you broke up???

Even without knowing what happened, I can tell you...YOU WILL NOT DIE, nor will your kids.  Rough times ahead, for sure, but we're all here for ya!!

  My head is so spinning!  Well, basically he has been acting odd for about a couple of weeks or maybe more!  I own my own home, and he owns his own home.  Im an idiot, I had "the feeling" and I didnt dump him first!  He has been doing stuff for a week to p*ss me off, and I kinda thought something, but I am usually very reserved about my feelings.

  He just has been asking for a week "Why are you so B*tchy?"  While hes doing things I think to purposely p*ss me off!  Like ,weve been talking about a tent or a camper for a month or so- and yesterday he informs me he cannot go to the beach, with me, my kids, my brother, and my nephew, cuz he bought a NEW JETSKI!  Geez what does that say!  He obviously dosnt want to be with me! 

  We got engaged while I was on probation at a GOOD 20.00 an hour job- And I wasnt fast enough-so I got offered another position[3rd shift] and I couldnt tAKE IT AS NOBODY TO WATCH MY KIDS!  mY KIDS ARE GOING TO BE SO DEVASTATED like me tomorrow.  And I went back to my low paying job that I held for 4 years before.  My best bud thinks thats why!  But I dont want to think that!  Darn it I wish it wasnt sooo late-Thanks for the words Huron in particular!  By acting weird I meant distant!  I think he did that purposely, to try and ease me into being slammed into the ground

  Every time Ive heard our song I have on a cassette in my car- I just start crying!  I think I knew it but was in denial!  I am such an idiot-I hate men!  No wonder I love dogs so much, and put so much thought in what they do, and eat.  My girls are the only ones who will be here for me UNCONDITIONALLY! 

  I think I will Sponser a dog online at the no-kill shelter to make me feel better !  Animal Ark to be exact!!  Some people dump money into shopping for cloths, shoes, and Ebay! When they are upset! Some even buy bigger faster Jet Skis {like my NOW EX!}, but I donate my $$  To no-kills when Im upset, or if I just have more $ then usual!!- so Im sorry that i sound pretty nuts, I think Im going to look at the Animal Ark and see if this one cute Pit named Ryanna was adopted in pariculer!  If not I will sponcer her to make both of us feel better!

  Thanks for all your comforting words!!  Really they mean more then you will ever know!!  Thanks everyone!  Ive gone through one divorse already, and It sucks so bad to have all your dreams, and hopes flushed right down the toilet!  Thanks everybody!  And I forgot to mention, that after that job I lost- I gained weight too!  So now Im fat, broke, and an emotional basket case too!!  I think that has something to do with it though! 

Lovin-

I promise you things will get better. Although everything seems hopeless now...you have to stay positive for your kids. If someone is so selfish that they would go buy themselves a jetski instead of a family toy....you don't need his butt! Good guys are out there. Be patient...love yourself...and he will find you.

Focus on improving the skills you were lacking to get that great job back. Go on walks to shed the pounds you found. In no time you will be feeling like a million bucks...and confidence will be pouring out of you. Good luck...and know you are not alone. I think we can all say...been there..survived that

Lovin,

I'm going to briefly comment on just what little I know.  I hope this may help clear a few things up for you and maybe you won't be feeling so bad.

First I see one huge red flag here that is causing some problems: Lack of communication - BIG TIME. You don't know why he left. You think he doesn't want to be with you. You think he is with another woman. You didn't ask him why you felt he was putting distance between you.

Now, I'm sure he has lack of communication as well, but I can only comment on what I see here.  I'm not picking on you (please don't look at it that way). I want you to understand.

When our minds are stressed to the extreme (as yours in right now) we simply don't think clearly. We can't.  Our brains don't function the same as they normally would.  This is why you are thinking all of this bad stuff that you are.  Not to say it isn't true, but what are you basing it on? Your thoughts, which at the moment, are not clear.

Now, let me say that men and women are chemically, physically, and emotionally built differently.  We can see the physical differences and sometimes even the emotional differences, but you cannot see the chemical differences. Thats why relationships get so complicated.

Let me tell you what I see from your comments.....

This comment....

Like ,weve been talking about a tent or a camper for a month or so- and yesterday he informs me he cannot go to the beach, with me, my kids, my brother, and my nephew, cuz he bought a NEW JETSKI!  Geez what does that say!  He obviously dosnt want to be with me!

and these comments....

I own my own home, and he owns his own home.

We have been together for 4 years

simply tell me that he obviously cares for you (been with you for 4 years) but that he still enjoys his independence (you still have separate homes).  Family vacations don't come from parents (or step-parents) who live in different households.

Yes, you were talking about buying something for the family (tent or camper) but there really is no family with the two of you living in 2 different homes.  He still views himself as being independent of you and your children, otherwise, an effort would have been made to either rent out one of your houses or sell one. (maybe this has already been discussed?).  This is also why he bought the jet ski, because he is still an independent man in his mind.

That doesn't make him a bad guy. Some men take pride in being single (living by themselves) and being able to afford things like that.  Maybe he just wanted to buy himself one last toy before settling down to raise your family. Maybe he wants to take the family on a more adventurous route than the beach.  You can all enjoy the jet ski if you let yourselves.  But in no way do I see him buying a jet ski as meaning that he doesn't want to be with you.  So lets get that thought out of your head so thats one less worry you have.

Now, about this other woman.......have you seen her? Phone calls?  What makes you think another woman exists?  You don't have to answer that here, but at least ask yourself.  Maybe he is once again showing his independence by wanting to go out with the guys.  Maybe he just needs to get away from all thats going on lately.

Your friends.....why do they hate him?

My take on this (from what little I know) is that you are both stressed by external factors which are affecting your internal relationship.  This is why communication is SO important. Ya'll just need to sit down and talk (calmly).  If you approach him with a frustrated emotional state he may take it as b*tching or nagging.  If he withdraws from you because he doesn't want to deal with that then you may take it as him not wanting to be with you.

Let me tell you this. You've been with him for 4 years. You haven't seen the last of him.  You won't die (and there have been days when I thought I would too....so I understand).  I KNOW it is hard to go through this.  I have been divorced and a single mother as well at one time.  You feel completely alone in the world.

He will come back and/or call.  When he does, just be as calm as ever and say "Honey, alot has went on lately and I love you enough to want to sit down and discuss it openly".  When you can agree on a time...do it. Don't accuse him of anything and he shouldn't accuse you. Tell him how you feel about the jet ski purchase. Tell him you feel distance between the 2 of you and tell him that you are concerned that he is seeing another woman. Let him answer you......and unless you have proof otherwise - believe him. 

I really hope all of this can make you see things differently and get some of your worries out of your head.  You have enough to deal with already.  I just hate to see your mind adding things in that may very well not be true.  That just makes life harder.

When/If you get things straightened out, make plans to do something with one of the houses so you can be a family.  Even if you don't move in together until after you are married....make the plans now. Talk about it.  Communicate.  Get a plan of action and stick with it.  Taht way, you are both on the same road to your future together.

If things do not get worked out....come back and we'll talk some more.

Everyone has given great advice. It saddens me to hear of family break ups. Especially with children involved. I have definatley been in your shoes. I think a little sit down chat is in order. Tell him, he has already hurt you, so anything else he says could not do any more harm. Tell him to be bluntly honest with you. If he won't tell you then maybe he's not over you.

 If he's seeing someone else, and still interested in you, either give him a chance to straighten things out or cut the ties right there.

Spend a lot of time doing things outside your home where you will be around other people. away from food and drink, you will loose weight, and gain your confidence back. Especially when you start having other men glancing your way. Things will straighten out.