The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new
500-Man elite fighting unit called the U.S. REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES
(USRSF).

These North Carolina, Kentucky, West Virginia,
Mississippi, Missouri, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Texas and
Tennessee
boys will be dropped into Iraq and will have been given only the
following facts about theTerrorists:

1. The season opened today.

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.

5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of

Dale Earnhardt.

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A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting
for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor
arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little
concerned, asked if the
baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

"Breast-fed," she replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. She did. He
pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both
breasts for a while in a detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, he said, "No wonder this baby is
underweight. You don't have any milk."

"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."