To all,

My name is not Troubled in Tombstone and my initials are not T in T, that is a forum name that I invented several years ago when my friend the Watcher and I joined a job related forum and literally changed an industry. The name was catchy and stuck with me for the last couple years so when Watcher invited me to this forum as a fellow pet lover, I decided that Troubled in Tombstone would enjoy a rebirth with hopefully some new friends.

Since I have been here, I have made several comments that I wish were never made. One comment in particular was so devastating that if I could ever take it back I would in a heartbeat. But I do want to say that since I have been here I have tried to entertain all of you with my particular sense of humor, educate you with my particular knowledge but most importantly give you some insight into my real life. The life of Jack Vermillion, descendant of a civil war hero, husband, father, son and friend of many.

I have been feared by some for talking about the gunfight at the OK Corral, I have been labeled a racist, I have been critisized for my beliefs, my political stance and most importantly for speaking my mind. I have been friends and enemies with the same people here in the same week. My motives and my intentions have been scrutinized, questioned, doubted and made fun of.

My professional life started as a small town cop back in upstate NY, almost 30 years ago, from there I joined the NY State police and was accepted into the US Marshalls service. I have been shot at, shot several times, stabbed and yes I have had the unfortunate opportunity to take a life on several occasions. I was in several real life modern day gunfights and lived to walk away and hug my children at the end of the day. I am a christian, I was educated at Syracuse University and I still am fortunate enough to have reached the half century plateau in my life when in reality many times it seemed like that was never going to happen.

MY parents raised me in a good loving home in upstate NY, they reside in a nursing home where my sister visits them almost everyday. My mother is in pretty good shape but my father is dying an agonizing death from leukemia. I am 2000 miles away but think about them everyday. I have been the best man in 4 weddings, and my wife and I are the godparents to 3 kids. MY 5 children are the greatest kids in the world, my oldest is married and will make me a grandfather soon. I truly believe that I was allowed to survive for that and several other special moments.

People on this forum do not know me, for that there is no blame to anyone except myself. I moved to Tombstone, Arizona 15 years ago after a job relocation to the pacific northwest went sour. I grew up in a family that believed in the law with a father and a grandfather that were police officers in NY and PA. Our family was fans of the old west and I began to study the old west extensively making many trips to that region and writing term papers and eventually newspaper and magazine articles in several minor publications.

My father worked nights on the police force, my mother was a stay at home mom and a sunday school teacher, she taught my sister and I to respect our God, other people and ourselves. We grew up with love, respect and family values which I carry with me today. MY mother would be somewhat amazed if she knew how misunderstood her high school quarterback son and semi-pro baseball playing son that had tryouts with the Yankees and Royals was confusing people on this forum.

Today I believe that nothing counts more than blood, all the rest are just strangers. You are all strangers to me as I am certainly a stranger to you. I truly believe that there is more paranoia on this forum than anywhere on the internet.

I drove to Colorado several months ago to help a friend with his business who's wife was terminally ill and who was about to lose it all. I did the best I could. I give about 50 pairs of boots, cowboy hats and wrangler jeans to underprivelaged mexican and native american children every year at my B&B in Tombstone. In both cases not looking for a pat on the back but rather athat thoughts of evil and hatred be erased when referring to me and my actions. 

Three times a week I drive up to Johnny Ringo's gravesite because of the history there, I spend hundreds of hours in reenactments at the OK corral, I went to Buffalo Bill's grave in Colorado....why because I live for the old west. I grew up in a family that hunted and fished, always shot guns, and the calling to uphold the law was too great to resist. I have had a gun in my hand since I was 12 years old.

I was made fun of and doubted that I went to the white house on special invite, it happened, I am proud and I shook Ronald Reagan's hand, he thanked me for my service to this country as a US Marshal, I thanked him for making me proud that he was my president. The B&B is what I do today for fun and to make a little poker money, my wife gets mad becaause I usually forget to charge people. I was criticized and made to feel like I was wrong for defending our borders and defending our way of life. I have always tried to uphold the law and to make the world a little safer for all of us, recently to be criticized. Of the 100 deaths on the Arizona border this year, 7 of them were people that I considered friends.

I don't romantically flirt with anyone on this forum or anywhere else becaause I am in love with my wife and I don't feel it is appropriate even to pretend. I don't hide behind a name that in reality is a slur against women, if so I would just call myself skirt_chaser. You are all gullible when you choose to be but critical when you least need to be. For that I am sorry and wish I could fix it for you all, but I can't and I am sure that my motives would be misunderstood.

Maybe in parting I can respectfully suggest that you all take a hard look in the mirror, examine what it is that you don't like about yourselves and realize that I do the same everyday. One pant leg goes on at a time, I brush my teeth twice a day, and I pray to my god every night that my family remains safe and healthy and that the world heals a little more every day.

This is who I am, the man who through a lifetime of living and face to face brushes with death, fears not the reaper. No pun intended and no refernce to the furum's reaper is implied.

Troubled in Tombstone