question about friendship

dusty082155 · ~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!

question about friendship

Kittys Mom · ~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!

I have forgiven people, endlessly...
One thing you need to know is that people rarely change. Some have mental issues in addition to their lack of loyalty. As times goes by, they can actually endanger you.
Watch your back. I think a second chance is ok, the replacement friends are likely to be just as bad as the ones that you have...better to train up the ones you've got to respect you.

StormyWinter · Moderator

Depending on how they stabbed me in the back. If they lied to my face and talked crap about me behind my back I would never talk to them again. If it was something smaller I would prolly just act like nothing happened BUT it would forever be in the back of my head.

Such as what happened to me, I will never talk to this person again. Lied to my faced then talked crap about me.

dusty082155 · ~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!

thanks for the advice kitty. i think you are so right !

-- Edited by dusty082155 at 17:24, 2005-09-17

-- Edited by dusty082155 at 17:26, 2005-09-17

Kittys Mom · ~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!

[

] Don't worry, I'm getting a map

dusty082155 · ~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!

lmao off !! a map wouldnt do me any good. i have never figured out how to read them ! lol

Ivy · MAD DOG!

Dusty... me I'm a hard one... A true friend Never would stab a friend in the back.

A true friendship… should be grounded on trust …

So forgive... Nope never... forget... nope never.... Tell the truth to that person about how I feel... yep... I would.

.

Masonsmom · MAD DOG!

Dusty-Been there and done that ...and I have come to realize that it's just not worth forgiving because some people will never change. That's sad.

Kittys Mom · ~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!

Honestly, if you are mean

...and keen

... enough, sometimes it works out.
Use the expression that " my enemy is my friend,

because I never stop watching them, and keeping them close[under observation] is safer than having them just...about...."

-- Edited by Kittys Mom at 02:48, 2005-09-18

Paige · ~Grand Champion~ Gold Medal Poster!

I don't forget and forgive. My ex-bestfriend totally forgot about me when I got pregnant. She said that I wouldn't be no fun anymore and a few other nasty things. I haven't spoken to her in 5 years and when I see her out with her 2 kids now I totally ignore her. I do think its funny how she totally dumped me for getting pregnant and now she has 2 of her own.

HunterNellasmom · Post-a-Holic - Give this person a rabies shot!

Paige! That's so weird because my friends totally dumped me when I got pregnant as well. It was so lonely. I didn't write them off because I am WAY too nice to people sometimes, lol. It's so hard for me to get mad at people. And I forgive so easily. But it is hard having them want me to be there for all their stuff when they weren't there for me. I wonder why that happens?

MollieMae01 · Moderator

I had friends that pretty much forgot me after I got serious with Brad. They just quit calling and everytime I'd call them, they were out partying with their other single friends and screwing the town. I didn't want to hang out with them anyway; not if they were going to do that!!

Paige · ~Grand Champion~ Gold Medal Poster!

Thats how my "friend" was. She quit calling me and when I called her she would be at a party. But I was like I can go to partys I just can't drink. But they thought it would too much trouble for them to have a pregnant girl with them. I guess they all thought that I lost my fun presonality when I found out I was having a kid.

oasis05 · Moderator

For me, it depends on what they did. If it was bad, i would not forgive but if it was not real bad, i'd forgive but never forget. I still have my best friend from 5th grade (22 years) and we live 1000 miles away from each other. We talk once or twice a month and we visit her when we are in Colorado. My son calls her aunt Farrah.........lol

Kittys Mom · ~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!

You know, too, the definition of friendship is pretty wide.
When I was in high school, there was a group of people that I hung around with at lunchtime. One day I realised, after sleepovers and a lot of time spent together, that what we actually talked about, and did together, was not the more affectionate, permanent bond that I had with, let's say, my next group of friends.
I guess we form alliances to work, hunt men, have chat, etc. Those alliances don't always stand the test of time. Sometimes I am fairly sure, I could still have some of those "friends" but they did not seek me out, it was always me going to them.
I got older and began to think, why should I be the one to do all the driving, all the planning, all the calling? Things change, and sometimes people don't quite fit, like puzzle pieces...
I guess it is better to be a good friend, than to worry about having them. You need to feel good about yourself, first, then worry about other people.
Sucks when you see the real side of people, like those that turn away from you when you become fat, or get pregnant, or sick, or something.
Emotional bonds are much stronger, but I think rare, and precious...

twinkletoes · You have been awarded the Posting Star of Honor!

Depending on what they have done would depend on how i reacted lol.

When i got divorced suddenly everyone deserted me and my ex. Some of those 'friends' were very close and 2 i had known for 10 years. They had recently got married themselves so maybe they thought we were a bad omen to have hanging around with them. Like our divorce was going to bring there newly married one crashing down to the ground, It hurt alot for them to drop me like a hot brick and i still see them around the town but never speak to them.

Things like that defiantly help you ifnd out who your real friends are. Nikki and Ben are the best in the world and theres a real bond there. Nikki and her mom and dad took me in when i had no-where to stay ..

When i was with my ex he was always at work and i never saw him. One night i was alone and i lived in a dodgy area well i had the lights off watching TV on low and i heard someone walking around the outside of the house trying all the doors and locks trying to break in. I was completely terrified and i phoned my then husband and asked for him to come home quickly (he was 15mins drive away) he told me that his work was more important so i phoned nikki and ben and they sat with me all night long until morning came and the ex come home.

lovinOEBs · MAD DOG!

I have forgiven as well in the past. As I grow older, it is my opinion some women in particular just can be plain " catty" sometimes. You have to choose friends that make you feel happy, and good about yourself. Also you make them happy, and make them feel good about themselves as well. Otherwise its just like a bad relationship. And they usually resolve in time. You shouldnt purposely hurt a real "friend", or diss them behind there backs. A real friend wouldnt do that either. A difference in opinions is fine, but outright bashing is not good. Well that was my opinion, but I liked Kittys advise, and thoughts also!

Kittys Mom · ~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!

Do you know, too, I think that when you are married, you seem "safer" to also married couples. When you are suddenly "available" you may be percieved as a potential spouse snatcher.
I am fairly sure that all my available girlfriends slept/had sex with my lover [who thinks he is sly] Eventually, it did not bother me, I would just tell future girlfriends that everyone else has slept with him, so they are welcome to do so also

, it kinda squashed their interest.
As for him, I do not trust him farther than I can throw him, so it is a very good thing that we never got married. Fidelity is not his strong suite, but he has other uses

lovinOEBs · MAD DOG!

Why would someones "friend" try to go after there friends lover/boyfriend/husband? I always wondered that. Any thoughts on that Kitty? I wonder why girls/women do that to there friends, then try to hide it, and keep being friends while hiding a terrible affair. Just wondering if you had thoughts on that.

Kittys Mom · ~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!

They get a buzz from it.
It is a sickness, like stealing things...
Morality is something that only a few of us struggle to achieve...