i know, but sometimes we have to put our own problems aside when others need us. she knows how bad my feet are , but i know she needs some comfort too. she is like a robot in that when she talks it is so broken up that i know she is just holding it all in .she just sounds like she is in a daze. kayla, my daughter is going to go too so she can help me if it gets too bad. and once i get there i can sit down if i have too. i just know i need to go, she has always been there for me. when jay was killed on his job, i dont know what i would have done if she hadnt been there for me. i was so devasted . we had been together for 9 years and suddenly he was gone. she took over and took care of everything.she really helped me through it. as i had two small kids that had just lost their dad. and i was totally not there in the head for awhile. i will do all i can to be there for her too.