The Differences between Dogs and Cats

As seen in a dog's diary:

* 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!

* 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

* 9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

* Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!

* 2 PM - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!

* 3 PM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

* 4 PM - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

* 6 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!

* 7 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!

* 8 PM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

* 9 PM - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!

* 11 PM - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity ... My captors continued to taunt me with

bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,

while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me

going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction that I get

from clawing their furniture. Tomorrow I will eat another

houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet

while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top

of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile

oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite

chair. I must remember to try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt

to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike

fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a

good little cat I was. Hmmm, that did not work according to plan...

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed

in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise

and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement

was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." I must learn what this

is and how I may use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.

The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is

 obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks

with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to

his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But

I have patience, I can wait, it is only a matter of time...