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Post Info TOPIC: Gender Specific ATM [ouch]


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Gender Specific ATM [ouch]


A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

***********************************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.


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You have been awarded the Posting Star of Honor!

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LOL, Ouch is right!


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Officially Housebroken! (But don't make me mad...I know which floors you wax)

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omg!!! i copied and sent that to my dad and step mom!!  that is totaly her lmao!!!!!  im not just saying that either.........it really is her!!!!!!!!  too funny.

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~Grand Champion~ Gold Medal Poster!

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I think I do it more at the male version. LOL!!

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Moderator

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Male verison here please! But that is typical of MOST female drivers. I hate to say it but most woman can NOT drive worth a damn!

-- Edited by StormyWinter at 21:09, 2005-12-06

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~Best In Show~ Senior Board Member!

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i do the male one. i get nervous at our local bank. the drive up ATM is around the back of the bank and its all wooded. i always think someone is going to pop out of the woods and try to rob me. so i am through there in record time ! lol

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Post-a-Holic - Give this person a rabies shot!

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Okay.  I'll admit it.  That's me.  It takes me forever and a day to go to the bank.  It's not the driving part.  I can handle that and I don't have to back up 50 times but it's all of the other stuff.  I usually have the kids in the car and a few dogs and they have me so distracted I can't get anything else done.  I can't find my card, once I find it, it takes me forever to get it in the machine, and so on and so forth.  It's a disaster.  The lady at the drive-thru hates to see me coming.  Although, she now keeps dog biscuits at the window.  She always hands them to me as soon as I drive up.  It keeps the dogs occupied and she gets me out of there faster. 



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Warning: Your post count is sadly LOW. Please seek posting assistance immediately...lol

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They need to add the the Men ATM.    "Ask wife if she's seen his wallet anywhere?" and "Can I borrow your bank card?". Oh and we can's forget "Have you seen my car keys?"

-- Edited by beaglecookie at 08:27, 2005-12-08

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Renee Gallegos


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Oh Puttin get your mind out of the gutter.  That man version sounds alot like when he's doin something else. LOL

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