One winter morning a couple was listening to the radio over breakfast. They hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again. The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today You must park ..." Then the power goes out. Norman's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?" With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to Old gray haired blondes exhibit, Norman says ... "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
The Year 2005 In Review For A Blonde
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..... "duh"..... bottles won't fit in typewriter ! ! !
March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years !"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out !
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets ! ! !
June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast-stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms ! ! !
August - Got locked out of car in rainstorm.....car swamped, because top was down.
September - Lost a TV quiz show. The capital of California is "C".....isn't it ? ? ?
October - Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone ! ! !
