Well, I've got several things to go over.....a lot has happened in the past few months and I'm sorry I've been gone so much and left loose ends untied.

After Katrina, when I came back to TN, I thought that chapter of my life was over.  It wasn't.  A few weeks after being back I recieved notice that me and my peers who went to assist had not followed proper protocol in order to allow us to go and help out.  We we're given a whole stack of forms to complete - which we did, but there was one form none of us were given (or aware of) because we had never done disaster relief before.

Because we didn't follow the red tape, the state sent each of us a letter stating that our licensure may be revoked upon consideration of their review panel.  This topped the cake for me.  I was already disgusted at how we had to handle things there.  We we're not allowed to treat anyone, we had to dictate what the government wanted us to say.  There were so many restrictions placed on us (and everyone there) that it was just ridiculous.  I left from there feelling that nothing was accomplished.  It was a side of the medical profession I didn't want to see, but the truth is - so much of our health care is dictated by government and not the people directly involved with our healthcare.

When I got home, I was so stressed I told JT that I wanted to give it up.  I did not want to continue doing what I was doing because I wasn't allowed to put all of my training to use due to certain regulations, not just id disaster relief, but in everyday work as well.  My first love has always been animals, and since vet school was not an option for me, I went into psychology.  I never recieved a Ph.D, only a Masters - which subjects me to far more regulations than someone with a Ph.D.  It can be a ful-filling job, but there is just so much you need to do for the patient but aren't allowed to.  There are reasons those regulations are in place, but that doesn't mean I agree with all of them.  I began having doubts while still in school during my clinicals, but what could I do?  I was less than 2 years from graduation at that point and I wasn't going to start all over with a different major.

After graduation, our lives changed quite a bit.  Yes, this job paid well and we benefitted from it quite a bit.  But......what is money if you don't enjoy what you do?  In the past year of me being out of school and actually working, I have just been so unhappy of the results of what my education allowed me to do.  After a few months of working full time, I went to part-time work hoping things would change as I wasn't exposed to the stresses of it so much.  Then, I decided to go strictly to volunteer work for a while (Katrina) and see if that would help.......that just made it worse.

I can't sit here and enjoy money when I do not believe in my heart that I am doing all I can to treat someone.  I can only do what the governent will "let" me do.  There  has been so many times when I wanted to offer certain services to patients, knowing they could benefit, but couldn't do it because of government regulation.  I'd then go home and ponder over it, knowing that somewhere, someone was paying for a service that I could not provide.  I can't tell you how frustrating that is.  It's like I was spending money I had not earned - whether it was directly paid by the patient or funded by state tax dollars - someone was paying for me to do something I couldn't do to my fullest potential, because of government interference.

I'm not saying that I blame the government, they have to have some of these regulations in place.  I'm just saying that a certain portion of these laws goes against what I believe and it prevents me from, in my opinion, being able to fully treat a patient.  I'm not alone in this.  This is why you will find that one psychologist will tell you to treat a child one way and yet another psychologist tells you a total opposite way of treating the same child.  It's because the psychologists are continually looking for ways to express their thoughts on treatment of a patient, without breaking any laws.  It's a very thin line to walk.  Treatment has become an assembly line of patients.  Standardized treatment plans are in place without regard to an individuals own environment and surroundings, all of which are different and unique to th patient and all of which play a role in the diagnosis/treatment.

I have not heard back from the state of TN yet, but have decided - at least for now - to back out of this profession.  Someday I may go back into it, but for now I am done.  Being home with my animals had brought me so much more joy than a big paycheck ever did.  I have peace here with my animals. I did not have peace before.

As of March 20th, I formally resigned from my job in Nashville.  I am no longer a practicing psychologist.  I don't know how permanent or temporary this will be - I just know that right now in my life, I can no longer continue the path in which I was going.

Obviously, the drop in income since I left in October has taken some adjusting to again, but JT has had some good results in music recently and that has been a blessing.  He is focusing more on that and I am focusing on the animals now.  So finally, we are getting back to a somewhat normal life where we can get things in order.  No more shopping spree's, but I don't need a $180 Ralph Lauren purse if it comes at the expense of a child who is still ill.  I just can't do it.

On a good note, I have some really good Furum news that I will talk about in it's own thread...so this one isn't so long.  Now that I'm at home, I can focus this place more.

I've got several of you I need to contact via PM and I will.  I have not forgotten about you......my conscious will not let me.  I have just been under so much, and doing so much that time nor finances have allowed me to do much of anything.  I still have to pay for my education even though I'm not using it.  Student loans can bite you in the arse if you aren't careful...lol.  Anyway, bear with me......JT just got some really good news regarding a song of his......and we're just waiting to finalize it.

So thats the news for now....regarding me anyway......I want to thank all of you who have hung in here and stayed with this place, even when it's dead.  It means alot to me.  This project is my little baby and you have kept it alive for me.

Now....on to Furum News..........